246 P. J. O'Rourke Quotes for You to Enjoy

P. J. O'Rourke

American Comedian

Born: Nov 14, 1947

About American Government People Politics You

Writing on a computer makes saving what's been written too easy. Pretentious lead sentences are kept, not tossed. Instead of sitting surrounded by crumpled paper, the computerized writer has his mistakes neatly stored in digital memory. P. J. O'Rourke

Memory Writing Digital Pretentious Mistakes Too Saving Paper Easy Tossed Computer Writer Computerized Lead Written Instead Makes Been His Surrounded Sitting Stored Sentences Neatly Kept

The great thing about being a print journalist is that you are permitted to duck. Cameramen get killed while the writers are flat on the floor. A war correspondent for the BBC dedicated his memoir to 50 fallen colleagues, and I guarantee you they were all taking pictures. I am only alive because I am such a chicken. P. J. O'Rourke

War Great You I Am Journalist Alive Colleagues Correspondent Memoir About Only BBC Writers Taking Pictures Great Thing Print Because Am Duck Permitted Fallen Were His Chicken Get Being Flat War Correspondent While Dedicated Floor Thing Guarantee

After all, what is your host's purpose in having a party? Surely not for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi. P. J. O'Rourke

If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it's a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also - to do the lawn and clean the gutters. P. J. O'Rourke

Government Family You Happy Problems Wife Job Parents Down Bit Finances Solve Lawn Clean Like Also Well Children Hold Ask Asking Cook Your Help Keep Her Second Raise

New Hampshire polling data are unreliable because, when you call the Granite State's registered Republicans and independents in the middle of dinner and ask them who they're going to vote for, they have a mouth full of mashed potatoes and you can't understand what they say. P. J. O'Rourke

You Vote Dinner Mouth State Say Independents Data Potatoes Unreliable Mashed Potatoes New Call Because Understand New Hampshire Hampshire Going Middle Polling Republicans Registered Them Ask Granite Full Who They Say

I'm a member of the 1960s generation. We didn't have any wisdom. P. J. O'Rourke

Wisdom Generation Member 1960s Any

If we heard that somebody starved to death in Sweden or Switzerland, we would be shocked. P. J. O'Rourke

Death Somebody Starved Would Would-Be Heard Shocked Sweden Switzerland

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce. P. J. O'Rourke

Good You Marriage Benefits Sympathy Married Bad Staying More Divorce Long-Term Over Friends Than May Much Ever Elicit

A fundamental American question is, 'What's the big idea?' P. J. O'Rourke

Big Idea Question Big Idea American Fundamental

All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done. P. J. O'Rourke

Change Sometimes Bad Done

I'm a rather decisive type. P. J. O'Rourke

Type Rather Decisive

What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text. P. J. O'Rourke

Space Thought Flower Alexander Pockets Small Vase Occupied Discover Text Up Than Graham Spam Less Search Now Bell Received

Philosophy was once considered science. P. J. O'Rourke

Science Once Considered Philosophy

As I get older, all sorts of things become less funny. Once one has children, any cruelty involving children becomes far less amusing than when one was at the mercy of one's friends' and relatives' children. P. J. O'Rourke

Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino's box. P. J. O'Rourke

You Wealth Too Eat Box Domino Where Pizza Many

Zero-sum thinking is an obsession of mine, but mostly in economics. P. J. O'Rourke

Economics Thinking Mine Obsession Mostly Zero-Sum

The job of the president of the United States is to talk to the public, is to explain to them. Now, some presidents talk too much, like Bill Clinton. Some presidents try to talk but don't know how, like George Bush senior. P. J. O'Rourke

Try Too Much Job Too President Presidents States Some Like Know Talk How George George Bush Clinton Senior Explain Public Them Bush Much Bill Bill Clinton Now United United States

Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool. P. J. O'Rourke

Alike Status About Horses Being Cool

Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad. P. J. O'Rourke

Good Bad Something Simply Make Because Movement Either Populist

Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines. P. J. O'Rourke

Philippines Algeria Islamic Nations Fundamentalism

Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do. P. J. O'Rourke

Think Baby Baby Boomers I Think Boomers Tend Self-Absorbed Now

Governments have monopolies on certain things, like eminent domain and deadly force. P. J. O'Rourke

Eminent Like Force Deadly Domain Governments Certain Certain Things Things Monopolies

One of the few benefits of being a journalist is that you're not in the Army. P. J. O'Rourke

You Army Benefits Journalist Few Being