P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

P. J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke
American Comedian
Born: Nov 14, 1947
About American Government People Politics You
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Money Car Giving Power Teenage Keys Like Boy Whiskey Car Keys
Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power. P. J. O'Rourke
Love Ignorance People Stupidity Power Looking Greed Society Alcohol Our Troubles Test Causes Source Anyway Them Should Even Ills Fundamental
The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it. P. J. O'Rourke
Work Politics Government You Will Remove Party Says Lawn Smarter Make Democrats Taller Prove Get Republicans Elected Then Richer Your
The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Mystery Make How Stop Works Washington
Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. P. J. O'Rourke
Funny Important Unlikely More Cleanliness Becomes Godliness
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. P. J. O'Rourke
People Wonderful Long Politicians Living Stay Understand Wonderful People Working Away Things
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. P. J. O'Rourke
Parenting Discipline Parents Difficult Properly Because May Size
Think what evil creeps liberals would be if their plans to enfeeble the individual, exhaust the economy, impede the rule of law, and cripple national defense were guided by a coherent ideology instead of smug ignorance. P. J. O'Rourke
Ignorance Law Evil Ideology National Think Defense Liberals Rule Guided Rule Of Law Cripple Would Would-Be Individual Instead Economy Exhaust Smug Were National Defense Plans Coherent Creeps
When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, the first things to be bought and sold are legislators. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics First Sold Bought First Things Selling Controlled Legislation Legislators Things Buying
If you think health care is expensive now, just wait 'til it's free. P. J. O'Rourke
Health You Wait Care Free Think Health Care Just Expensive Now
The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats. P. J. O'Rourke
World Run Spoiled Irresponsible Being
If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult. P. J. O'Rourke
New Year's Health Great You Words Mind Great Deal Will Slow Young Other Drink Adult Spoil Make Deal In Other Words Turn Your Fat
The idea of a news broadcast once was to find someone with information and broadcast it. The idea now is to find someone with ignorance and spread it around. P. J. O'Rourke
News Ignorance Broadcast Once Find Someone Idea Around Spread Information Now
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. P. J. O'Rourke
Death Character History Election National Else Our Worried Presidents Out Impeached Fails Another Five Office When All Else Fails Hold Them Shot Assassinate Brief Four
Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it. P. J. O'Rourke
People Made Some People Mindless Minds Some About Facts Opinions Proven Up Theories
There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. P. J. O'Rourke
You Duty Consequences Damn Please Only Take Well Human Human Right Right Basic
Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. P. J. O'Rourke
You Gossip Say About Objects Flattery Present
The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to. P. J. O'Rourke
You Behavior Holiday Season Kiss Drunk Year Married Proper Through New Drunkenness Person Get Holiday Eve Season
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. P. J. O'Rourke
Mother Motherhood Fatherhood Fact Child Required Theory Each Biologically
Once you've built the big machinery of political power, remember you won't always be the one to run it. P. J. O'Rourke
You Remember Political Political Power Power Big Once Machinery Run Always Built
Liberals have invented whole college majors - psychology, sociology and women's studies - to prove that nothing is anybody's fault. P. J. O'Rourke
Women Fault College Nothing Liberals Invented Studies Majors Prove Anybody Psychology Whole Sociology
The minute somebody joins a committee... they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics People Somebody Become Wildly Immediately Minute Idiots Brain Committee Committees Turn Suffer
To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal. P. J. O'Rourke
Work You Science Animal Better Plant Job Wild Wild Animal Validity Look Mistrust Scientific Scientific Method Go Method Deny Human Your Resign
The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you're rich. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics Good News You Will Good News Rich Pay Everything Bad Obama Administration Obama Administration Bad News According
Term limits aren't enough. We need jail. P. J. O'Rourke
Enough Term Term Limits Limits Jail Need
Politics is the attempt to achieve power and prestige without merit. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics Achieve Power Prestige Attempt Merit Without
Load more quotes
About
Site pages
Top Quotes
Authors
Today's birthdays
Copyright © Quotesia 2024