P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

P. J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke
American Comedian
Born: Nov 14, 1947
About American Government People Politics You
Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid. P. J. O'Rourke
Happy Will Stupid Rich Live Everybody Conservatives Everything Liberals Insane Laws Never Proposing Perfectly Ideas Make Always Forever Us Right
The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Together People Pay Enough Enough People Our Something Take Idea Concert Get Get Together Act Whole
In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of 'I hate strangers and anything that's different.' P. J. O'Rourke
Hate Matter Strangers Conservatism Worse Different Anything Forms
The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock? P. J. O'Rourke
People Country Hell Think Nuts Those Administration Religious Guns Plymouth Attack Stepped Because Does Rock Were Clinton Clinton Administration Texas Ashore Bill Bill Clinton Who Founded
I am a student of stupidity. I am a political reporter. P. J. O'Rourke
I Am Stupidity Political Student Am Reporter
Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics Thanksgiving Business Agriculture Dinner First Has-Been Indians Head Since Overalls Pilgrim Fish Been Up Fertilizer Production Grants
The 1960s was an era of big thoughts. And yet, amazingly, each of these thoughts could fit on a T-shirt. P. J. O'Rourke
Thoughts Big Could T-Shirt 1960s Era Amazingly Fit Each
Something that confirms all fears and many conspiracy theories about government is finding out what our elected representatives would put into law if they could. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Law Conspiracy Fears Our Out Would Finding About Something Could Put Representatives Elected Theories Many
I live in New Hampshire. We're in favor of global warming. Eleven hundred more feet of sea-level rises? I've got beachfront property. You tell us up there, 'By the end of the century, New York City could be underwater,' and we say, 'Your point is?' P. J. O'Rourke
You Property Live Hundred Say Favor Tell City Rises More Point Could New Feet Global Global Warming Got New Hampshire Underwater Hampshire End Up York New York New York City Century Warming Us Your Eleven
Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Good You Feeling Looking Side About Catastrophe Feeling Good Like Still Quit Any Bright
I think the Baby Boom does have a tendency to get its nose in everything. The Greatest Generation had a better tendency to leave people alone. Of course, they also had a better tendency to hate everybody's guts. P. J. O'Rourke
Alone Generation Hate People Better Think Baby Everybody Everything I Think Boom Guts Tendency Had Also Course Greatest Does Leave Greatest Generation Get Nose
The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it. P. J. O'Rourke
Democracy Random Citizen Beauty Lead Average
A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall. P. J. O'Rourke
Today Space Farm Motel Chickens Size Stall Means Shower
I had a confused early hippie phase, which was like a cafeteria tray of sloppy, semi-Marxist thoughts, absorbed second-hand. P. J. O'Rourke
Thoughts Confused Second-Hand Sloppy Had Absorb Like Hippie Which Phase Early
Inside every Sancho Panza there's a Don Quixote struggling to get out. P. J. O'Rourke
Every Out Inside Struggling Don Quixote Get Quixote
Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. P. J. O'Rourke
Day Labor Day Problems Year Before Beginning Severe System More Academic None Educational Labor Than American
I myself am a parent in a small business. Number of employees: one. P. J. O'Rourke
Myself Business Employees Parent Small Small Business Am Number
When you pay a hospital bill, you're really paying two hospital bills - one bill for you because you have a job and/or insurance and can pay the hospital. and another bill, which is tacked onto your bill, to cover the medical expenses of someone who doesn't have a job and/or insurance and can't pay the hospital. P. J. O'Rourke
You Job Pay Someone Hospital Onto Another Because Insurance Cover Expenses Which Really Bill Your Paying Who Bills Medical Two
Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Somebody Whatever Else Would Idea Policy Does Foreign Foreign Policy American Behind Sensible Prefer
Every vote should carry a serial number, so that responsibility for harmful or careless use of the vote can be traced. Concealed voting should be outlawed. P. J. O'Rourke
Vote Voting Responsibility Every Harmful Careless Carry Outlawed Concealed Should Use Serial Number
The First Amendment only says 'Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion.' It can disrespect all it wants. P. J. O'Rourke
Religion Law First Congress Disrespect Respecting Says No Law Only Shall First Amendment Make Amendment Establishment Wants
No Americans wants to see somebody lose their house because of health bills. Their boat? Maybe. Maybe the boat. But not the house. P. J. O'Rourke
Health Somebody Lose See House Because American Maybe Wants Boat Bills
If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' P. J. O'Rourke
Life Politics Words Three Personal Life Magic More Journalism Know Commentary American Personal Used Need
No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. P. J. O'Rourke
Daily Memory Living Faster Collapsed Journalism Industry Print Than
I am unboreable in the great outdoors. P. J. O'Rourke
Great I Am Outdoors Am
The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. P. J. O'Rourke
Learning Young Adept More Avoiding Even
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