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Johnny Vegas Quotes
Johnny Vegas Quotes
Johnny Vegas
British
Comedian
Born:
Sep 11
,
1971
Always
Me
Myself
People
Stage
You
Related authors:
Alexei Sayle
Eddie Izzard
Eric Morecambe
Jack Whitehall
John Oliver
Stephen Fry
Tim Vine
Tommy Cooper
I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.
Johnny Vegas
Birthday
Me
School
Mind
Sex
Changed
Could
Never
Priest
Trained
Seminary
Wanted
Even
Started
I hate flying, airports and the whole rigmarole - queuing up, security and lost luggage.
Johnny Vegas
Hate
Lost
Flying
Airport
Security
Up
Whole
Luggage
I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I'm grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old's birthday party, you couldn't pay me enough.
Johnny Vegas
Good
Birthday
Me
You
Old
Party
Pay
Older
Enough
Birthday Party
Kids
Gig
Terrible
Doing
Get
Them
Used
Grumpy
For the greater good, I thought I should be a spiritual leader for people for some reason.
Johnny Vegas
Good
Spiritual
People
Thought
Leader
Some
Greater
Greater Good
Should
Reason
I've always said that with kids' TV that people get stuck in it from drama school but that's not fair because I know myself that when you go in creatively, kids are so much more open to ideas. You're so much freer to mess about and try things.
Johnny Vegas
Myself
You
People
School
Try
Drama
Drama School
Kids
TV
About
More
Stuck
Open
Fair
Freer
Ideas
Know
Mess
Because
Said
Always
Go
Get
Not Fair
Much
Creatively
Things
I found popularity through self-destruction, and that can be quite addictive.
Johnny Vegas
Addictive
Through
Self-Destruction
Quite
Popularity
Found
There's lots of stuff about me being a fan of Cliff but not being gay. Which suggests that he is, but he's not. Anyway, this is Channel 4, let their lawyers sort it out.
Johnny Vegas
Me
Gay
Channel
Out
About
Lawyers
He
Stuff
Sort
Cliff
Lots
Being
Fan
Anyway
Which
This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute.
Johnny Vegas
Last-Minute
Else
Minute
Brought
Someone
Written
Obviously
Been
Last
You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.
Johnny Vegas
You
Fear
Stage
Unless
Out
Proper
Felt
Comic
Been
You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.
Johnny Vegas
You
Women
Win
Cause
Will
Easily
Follow
Foolish
Over
Like
Gentlemen
Audience
Led
Times
Sway
With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.
Johnny Vegas
You
Fickle
Got
Audiences
Quite
Just
Chance
We had a week off in the middle of shooting, but as soon as everyone stopped, we all went down with six different types of flu and other unmentionable diseases.
Johnny Vegas
Flu
Down
Other
Types
Everyone
Week
Had
Soon
Off
Shooting
Diseases
Six
Stopped
Middle
Different
Different Types
Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.
Johnny Vegas
You
Own
Holding
Everyone
Considers
Comedian
Up
North
Themselves
Your
My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.
Johnny Vegas
Work
Family
Carry
Something
Never
Accepted
Always
Been
I've got little ankles and a bit of a belly, so it makes me look rather an egg on legs.
Johnny Vegas
Me
Bit
Rather
Ankles
Look
Makes
Got
Egg
Legs
Little
Belly
I also want to return to doing stand-up. I've become frightened of live audiences. This is a really telling sign that I need to go back on the comedy circuit again.
Johnny Vegas
Comedy
Become
Live
Back
Circuit
Sign
Telling
Also
Return
Audiences
Doing
Go
Frightened
Want
Again
Really
Need
I actually enjoy being heckled; it keeps it interesting, and I think it is a nice feeling for people once they have left the show.
Johnny Vegas
People
Feeling
Nice
Enjoy
Think
Once
Left
Being
Interesting
Show
Keeps
Actually
Had I become a priest, the sermons would've been electric!
Johnny Vegas
Become
Had
Priest
Been
Electric
Sermons
I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.
Johnny Vegas
Time
Home
Spent
London
Studied
Like
Lots
Just
I've always been looking for other people's approval.
Johnny Vegas
People
Looking
Other
Approval
Always
Been
You don't want to be flattered and become big-headed by getting awards. But, well, I am.
Johnny Vegas
You
Become
Well
Am
Getting
Want
Flattered
Awards
You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.
Johnny Vegas
Hope
Saying
You
People
Half
Honoured
He
Became
Always
Hear
Hear People
Bloke
Decent
Turning
Dad
I am a big fan of smelly cheeses but the rest of the family don't seem to be particularly keen on them.
Johnny Vegas
Family
Rest
Big
Seem
Particularly
Smelly
Am
Big Fan
Fan
Them
Keen
I get obsessed with decorations and decorating the house. I keep it tasteful outside, but when you get inside it is a bit like Blackpool illuminations, I go bonkers!
Johnny Vegas
You
Bit
Inside
Outside
Obsessed
Like
House
Go
Get
Tasteful
Decorating
Keep
I love the way my weight fluctuates in the newspapers. It was 18 stone and then people look at a bad picture of me and add a few more stone on. I think the highest was 22 stone.
Johnny Vegas
Love
Me
People
Picture
Few
Think
Add
Way
Bad
More
Highest
Weight
Look
Stone
Newspapers
Then
I think I'm realising more and more that I've got a job to do and I can't be doing the big nights out and working to my full potential the next day. I feel much better for it.
Johnny Vegas
Day
Better
Job
Big
Think
Nights
Out
More
More And More
Potential
Feel
Got
Doing
Realising
Much
Next
Working
Full
Full Potential
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