Jasper Carrott Quotes

Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott
English Comedian
Born: Mar 14, 1945
Always Me People Time Will You
Related authors: Benny Hill James Acaster Jimmy Carr Julian Clary Les Dawson Norman Wisdom Rowan Atkinson Russell Brand
My real name is Bob Davis, but for some reason, I got the name Jasper while playing football at the local rec when I was nine years old, and it just stuck. Years later, when someone asked 'Jasper who?' I just said 'Carrott' - but I have no idea why I came out with that particular word. Jasper Carrott
Old Word Local Nine Later Out Some No Idea Someone Stuck Davis Football Idea Name Particular Said Got Real Came Years Real Name Just While Bob Asked Reason Who Why Playing
I started to develop my comedy skills when I became resident singer at the Boggery Folk Club in Solihull. My career blossomed from there, and I became a big draw on the folk-club circuit. Jasper Carrott
Comedy Big Club Circuit Draw Folk Develop Singer Became Blossomed Skills Resident Started Career
Celador always ask me to do their shows, and I turned down 'Millionaire.' I couldn't have done it as well as Chris Tarrant, or at least I couldn't have done it any better. Jasper Carrott
Me Better Millionaire Down Well Always Least Any Done Turned Ask Shows Chris
My heart was always in my mouth when I started on a new routine. Jasper Carrott
Heart Mouth New Always Routine Started
Ringo isn't the best drummer in the world. He isn't even the best drummer in the Beatles. Jasper Carrott
Best Beatles World Ringo He Drummer Even
Try telling people in the Seventies that butter was healthier for you than margarine, and they would force feed you with Stork. Jasper Carrott
You People Try Seventies Telling Would Feed Force Healthier Than Butter
If I were to ask you who the first million-pound show winner was on British TV, you'd probably go for Judith Keppel. She was, indeed, the first 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' contestant to win £1 million, but the first one on TV was actually Clare Barwick, who won £1 million on Chris Evans' show 'TFI Friday.' Jasper Carrott
You Win Millionaire Winner First Indeed TV She First One Contestant Go Were Friday Won Wants Ask Show Who Chris Actually Million British
I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy. Jasper Carrott
Life Happy Marriage Simple Unhappy Looking Difficult Feet Friends Very Maybe Being Being Happy Happy Marriage Ground Who Keep Satisfaction
I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis. Jasper Carrott
Game National Humour Monthly More Tennis Columnist Abundance Said Than Articles Golf Which Newspapers Used Based
I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. Jasper Carrott
Today You Will Tell Absolute Moron Firmly Am Amazed Begin Convinced Radio Stands
I have to confess here that I am a useless cook. Jasper Carrott
Am Confess Cook Useless Here
The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion. Jasper Carrott
Our Our Lives Out Impact General Proportion Most Gets Lives Things
The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests. Jasper Carrott
Best Food Debate Complex Ongoing Vested Vested Interests Controlled Often Us Interests Whole
I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer. Jasper Carrott
Time Dark Few Out My Time Obsessive Also Stevie Stevie Wonder Known Because Been Question Wonder Golfer Even Rounds Play
There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson. Jasper Carrott
Mind Right Mind Unless Way Anderson Would Running Chase Contemplate Involved Right

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