50 Sloane Crosley Quotes for You to Enjoy

Sloane Crosley

American Writer

Born: Aug 3, 1978

Day Me People Think World You

Related authors: Dale Carnegie Denis Waitley Dr. Seuss H. L. Mencken Napoleon Hill Ray Bradbury W. E. B. Du Bois William Arthur Ward

As we grow up, it feels like you should either invite people into your life or not. There should be fewer and fewer instances of friends you 'can only take in small doses.' Sloane Crosley

Life You People Only Small Take Invite Feels Like Up Friends Fewer Either Doses Should Your Grow Grow Up

I think the rule of thumb should be this: if you preface a sentence about a friend with the phrase, 'I love X, but... ' more than once in any conversation, you should stop hanging out with them. Sloane Crosley

Love You Conversation Think Once Rule Out Phrase About More Thumb Friend Than Any Hanging Stop Them Sentence Should

They say it's not the snoring itself but those anxiety-packed moments in between snorts. It's the waiting for the nasal passages of the person lying beside you to strike again. And strike it always does. In the dark, almost against your will, you produce that special glare reserved for people who cannot control their own behaviour. Sloane Crosley

You Waiting People Dark Will Own Control Lying Strike Say Those Beside Glare Almost Between Does Always Passages Itself Person Snoring Behaviour Cannot In-Between Again Against Produce Your Special Who Moments Reserved They Say

For the average person, taken to their sick bed, it takes a serious bout of pneumonia or a full body cast to completely forget the life they had prior to falling off the rollercoaster. I, however, will do this over a paper cut on my thumb, obsessing of said cut and being generally consumed by it. Sloane Crosley

Life Will Sick Paper Cast Consumed Generally Had Taken Thumb Takes Over Prior Said Bed However Falling Off Person Forget Rollercoaster Being Cut Average Average Person Body Full Serious

Unless we're talking about old-school, witchcraft-trial violence, can we please phase out the phrase 'girl crush?' While we're at it, if we can axe 'like, total girl crush' unless Total Girl Crush is the name of a fizzy soft drink, in which case I'll take two, thank you. Sloane Crosley

You Girl Thank You Unless Please Out Phrase Total About Case Drink Take Crush Name Like Talking Thank Which While Phase Axe Violence Two Soft

It's funny. People often compare me to other humor essayists. They're usually quite nice comparisons; I will accept those gladly. But I am always sort of appalled at the idea of being lumped with other, more chick-y female writers. And the truth is probably that neither comparison is accurate. Sloane Crosley

Funny Truth Me Truth Is People Humor Will Nice Other Funny People Those Neither More Gladly Writers Idea Sort Accept Female Always Am Accurate Quite Often Being Appalled Compare Comparison Comparisons Lumped

Some of the writers I admire who seem very, very funny and very emotional to me can develop a closeness with the reader without giving too much of themselves away. Lorrie Moore comes to mind, as does David Sedaris. When they write, the reader thinks that they're being trusted as a friend. Sloane Crosley

Funny Me Mind Too Much Giving Too Moore Admire Some Seem David Write Emotional Writers Develop Reader Without Does Friend Trusted Very Closeness Being Themselves Much Who Away Thinks

I have certain rules that I've established for myself that took a while post-day job to figure out. Everyone says people who freelance or are writers struggle with the structure of it. I'm not allowed to check email before a certain hour. I'm not allowed to run errands during the day. I have to write a certain amount every day. Sloane Crosley

Myself Day Struggle Every Day People Job Freelance Before Every Took Everyone Email Rules Says Out Run Structure Write Writers Allowed Day Job Check Hour Established While Certain Figure Who Amount

Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor's appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops. Sloane Crosley

Time Birthday Doctor Three Reading Every Interview Paper Has-Been Reminder Between Since Days Pieces Loops Metal Been Left Graduation Social Engagement Measured Flight Right Four Appointment

At the end of each year, I sit on the floor and go page by page through the old calendar, inking annual events into the new one, all the while watching my year in 'dinner withs' skate by. When I'm done, I save the old calendar in the box of the new one and put it with the others on a shelf. Sloane Crosley

Events Old Dinner Year Sit Others Through Put New Calendar Annual Box Shelf Go New One End Done Skate While Page Each Floor Each Year Watching Save

Yes. I am writing full-time. Which is strange. It feels like not having a job. Sloane Crosley

Strange Writing Job Having Feels Like Am Yes Which Full-Time

I am starting to like L.A., but the concept of a place you have to get used to so much seems a little weird to me. I have been to many foreign cities where I didn't have to acclimatize as much as I did to L.A. Sloane Crosley

Me You Cities Seems Weird Like Concept Am Foreign Been Get Did Where Place Little Much Used Many Starting

I was the youngest of my entire family so you are tap-dancing to try to get the attention of your older cousins. I really hit my social stride in 6th grade, but before that I was a pretty big dork. You learn how to be amusing and how to work for it. Sloane Crosley

Everyone has been in a social situation where you say something and it goes unnoticed, then someone else says the same thing and everyone laughs a lot. You learn how to be more creative and whacky and amusing. Sloane Crosley

You Creative Situation Same Thing Else Everyone Say Says Has-Been Unnoticed Laughs Someone Something More Learn How Been Lot Same Goes Where Social Then Thing Amusing

I'm a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory. Sloane Crosley

Good Birthday Memory Baby Summer

I definitely rediscovered reading for pleasure by devoting such a large swath of my time to sitting on airplanes. I am now painfully adept at removing my shoes so as to have the least amount of foot surface area touching an airport floor. Sloane Crosley

Time Reading Shoes Adept Pleasure Airplane Definitely Airport Touching My Time Area Foot Removing Rediscovered Surface Am Least Sitting Painfully Large Now Floor Amount

Being a writer is an endless study in human transition and lessons learned or forgotten or misapplied. Sloane Crosley

Writer Study Learned Endless Human Forgotten Being Transition Lessons Lessons Learned

I would gladly have accepted a heaping spoonful of nepotism when I got out of college and was looking for a job. Sloane Crosley

Job College Looking Out Would Nepotism Gladly Spoonful Accepted Got

When I was nine years old, I wrote a short story called 'How to Build a Snowman,' from which no practical snowperson-crafting techniques could be gleaned. The story was an assignment for class and it featured a series of careful but meaningless instructions. Of course, the building of the snowman was a red herring. Sloane Crosley

Class Old Build Building Herring Nine Featured Could Red Instructions Wrote Practical Course How Years Short Short Story Story Which Meaningless Series Assignment Techniques Careful

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