9555 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

People feel really uncomfortable talking about race and identity, largely because the subject is so taboo. Franchesca Ramsey

People Taboo About Uncomfortable Feel Identity Talking Because Subject Race Really Largely

I don't want to tell anybody who to vote for; I'd rather people just do their homework and make sure they vote for the person that they feel like is best to run our country. Franchesca Ramsey

Best Vote People Country Homework Our Tell Run Rather Feel Like Make Sure Person Just Anybody Want Who

Do not feed the trolls! Racist commenters usually troll the Internet looking for people of color to harass online. If you avoid responding, oftentimes they will get bored and move on. Franchesca Ramsey

You People Internet Will Looking Move On Responding Bored Online Color Feed Get Move Oftentimes Harass Avoid

People that are not happy in their offline life tend to turn to trolling to fill the void. Oftentimes, the people saying racist things do not even necessarily believe in what they are saying. They are just looking for attention they do not get in real life. When you keep that in mind, it is easier to avoid indulging those people all together. Franchesca Ramsey

Life Saying You Together Happy People Mind Looking Real Life Believe Those Easier Tend Void Attention Indulging Real Get Oftentimes Just Just Looking Turn Avoid Even Fill Keep Things Necessarily

I love John Madden because he makes me feel smart. Frank Caliendo

Love Me Smart Madden John He Feel Because Makes

ESPN has so many characters, it's like 'The Simpsons.' Frank Caliendo

Characters Simpsons Like ESPN The Simpsons Many

ESPN takes itself very seriously, but for some reason, I'm allowed to be the court jester. Frank Caliendo

Seriously Some Allowed Takes Court Itself Very ESPN Reason

I'm kind of the antithesis of a comedian. People that don't like me will agree with that. Frank Caliendo

Me People Will Kind Like Comedian Antithesis Agree

Most people want to be on TV as much as possible. I went up the ranks so fast because I was doing impressions, and nobody was really doing it when I started. I never got a chance to explore what's my comfort level onstage. Frank Caliendo

My idea for peace in the Middle East is to go back to the 1966 line, but to build even more houses for the Palestinians, who are a poor people. Frank Carson

Peace People Build Back East More Idea Houses Go Line Middle Middle East Poor Poor People Who Even Palestinians

People in Northern Ireland vote for their church, they don't vote with their heads; it is ridiculous. Frank Carson

Vote People Church Heads Ireland Northern Northern Ireland Ridiculous

America has only 100 Senators for 309 million people, but Stormont has 108 members for 1.7 million. Frank Carson

People Members Only America Senators Million Million People

Most of my jokes are racist - usually about the Irish. Frank Carson

Jokes About Most Irish

I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. Fred Allen

Amazing Own Musical Musical Instrument My Own Only Instrument Amazement Little Play

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on. Fred Allen

Man Woman Gentleman Hat His Hit Any Who

The advertising world had space men in it before spacemen existed. Fred Allen

World Space Men Before Had Advertising Existed

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. Fred Allen

Imitation Television Sincerest Sincerest Form Form

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. Fred Allen

Good Great Competition Too Bad Place Good Actor Washington Actor

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. Fred Allen

Family Tree Know Look Because Up Sap

Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners. Fred Allen

Treat Employees Like Partners Act

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer. Fred Allen

Will Guy Only Hollywood Producer Who Associate

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion. Fred Allen

Time History Jokes Age Comedy First Living Machine Machine Age Has-Been Oblivion He Supply Comedian Himself Knows First Time Material Been Whether Compelled Treadmill Compete

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it. Fred Allen

Humor About Know Anything

Quotes by Comedians