P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

P. J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke
American Comedian
Born: Nov 14, 1947
About American Government People Politics You
There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It's going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it's the Democrats. P. J. O'Rourke
Hope Me Job Worse One Thing Running Only Gives Only One Thing Democrats Than American Going Anybody Republican Republicans Hard Thing
Democrats hate success. P. J. O'Rourke
Success Hate Democrats
There's a love of rhetorical skill in the Muslim world. Osama bin Laden doesn't just go on tape cassettes and say, 'America sucks.' He recites poetry; he finds things that 'America sucks' rhymes with. P. J. O'Rourke
Love World Say Muslim Muslim World Finds Poetry He Go Tape America Just Rhetorical Rhymes Skill Sucks Bin Things
There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees. P. J. O'Rourke
Too Trees Horizon Many
Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics God Rights Mercy Resort Way Like Wrongs Foreigners Lousy Get Infinite Endless Done Things Last Paltry
Jack Abramoff is the world's best lobbyist - for the Federal Penitentiary System. P. J. O'Rourke
Best World Lobbyist System Federal Jack
There are a number of Americans who shouldn't vote. The number is 57 percent, to judge by the combined total of Clinton and Perot ballots in the 1996 presidential election. P. J. O'Rourke
Vote Judge Election Presidential Presidential Election Total Percent Combined Perot Ballots Clinton American Who Number
You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. P. J. O'Rourke
You Perspective Crime Poverty Big Correspondent City About Beat Learn Understand Foreign Big City Go Condition Covering Begins Human Different Human Condition Different Perspective Beirut Need
I write because I like to make things and the only things I am good at making things with are words. P. J. O'Rourke
Good Words I Am I Write Only Write Like Make Because Making Am Things
Banning paper and plastic and making shoppers carry their groceries home in their mouths like dogs is just the thing to make a little tin humanist in the Obama West Wing think he's admiral of the Uzbek Navy. P. J. O'Rourke
Home Think Paper Carry Obama Admiral Wing He Like Make Making Dogs West West Wing Tin Mouths Just Banning Little Groceries Plastic Navy Humanist Thing
Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics Evil Annoyance Necessary Necessary Evil
We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans. P. J. O'Rourke
Government Nature Because Alas Humans Need
Stupid is a great force in human affairs. P. J. O'Rourke
Great Stupid Force Affairs Human Human Affairs
Californians are people who insist on growing their own vegetables, but they won't dig up the pretty lawn, won't plant anything for fear of getting dirty, and they use fragrant bath salts from The Body Shop instead of smelly compost. P. J. O'Rourke
People Fear Vegetables Plant Insist Own Dig Fragrant Bath Pretty Lawn Dirty Instead Smelly Californians Up Shop Getting Anything Body Use Who Growing
Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. P. J. O'Rourke
Innovation Innovations Innovative Something Most Exercise Least Probable Predicting
Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters. P. J. O'Rourke
Hurt People Welfare Black Some People Think Some Voters Welfare Reform Clinton Reform Should Bill Bill Clinton
I live in rural New Hampshire, and we are, frankly, short on people who are black, gay, Jewish, and Hispanic. In fact, we're short on people. My town has a population of 301. P. J. O'Rourke
Gay People Black Live Frankly Rural Fact New Town New Hampshire Hispanic Hampshire Short In Fact Who Population Jewish
There is no 20-year period in American history when stocks lost money. P. J. O'Rourke
History Money Lost Period Stocks American American History
Gay marriage acceptance is happening in the blink of an eye. P. J. O'Rourke
Gay Marriage Acceptance Gay Marriage Eye Blink Happening
Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. P. J. O'Rourke
World Free Marketplace Entire Entire World Simply Opening Globalization Encompass
Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. P. J. O'Rourke
Writing Objection Computer Real Lack Romance
Northwest Ohio is flat. There isn't much up. The land is so flat that a child from Toledo is under the impression that the direction hills go is down. Sledding is done down from street level into creek beds and road cuts. P. J. O'Rourke
Down Direction Road Hills Beds Go Impression Up Child Done Northwest Ohio Flat Land Cuts Much Street Level Creek
There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. P. J. O'Rourke
Happiness Love Family Marriage Important Dreadful Kind Boring Exceedingly Nonetheless Which Describe
Upbeat is for people who want to feel good about their cause: the reformers, the progressives, the revolutionaries, the utopians, the collectivists, and the rest of the altruistic scum of the earth. Why do these people want to feel good? They want to feel good in order to convince themselves that they are good. P. J. O'Rourke
Good Feel Good People Cause Rest Progressives Earth About Feel Altruistic Upbeat Revolutionaries Order Want Themselves Convince Who Why
Everybody is xenophobic to an extent. P. J. O'Rourke
Everybody Xenophobic Extent
I believe in God. God created the world. P. J. O'Rourke
God World Believe I Believe I Believe In Created
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