26 Jimmy Kimmel Quotes for You to Enjoy

Jimmy Kimmel

American Celebrity

Born: Nov 13, 1967

Almost Every Funny Me People You

Related authors: Frank Abagnale Fred Rogers Jeffree Star Kim Kardashian Mike Rowe Paris Hilton Ric Flair Richard Simmons

Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion. Jimmy Kimmel

Good Good Job Job Emotion Real Faking Doing Real Emotion

I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means. Jimmy Kimmel

Creative Whatever Consultant Means

I do have a treadmill desk in my office, and for a while, I would walk on it while checking email and going through jokes. I haven't walked on it in probably four months. Now it's more of an upright dining table for me. At some point, moss will grow over it, birds will build nests, and nature will reclaim the treadmill as its own. Jimmy Kimmel

Nature Me Jokes Walk Will Build Own Birds Email Months Reclaim Dining Would Table Some More Point Through Over Checking Over It Moss Walked Office Going Upright While Grow Now Treadmill Four Desk

On Monday and Thursday, I eat fewer than 500 calories a day; then I eat like a pig for the other five days. You 'surprise' the body: keep it guessing. I got the idea from a BBC documentary about this Indian man who seemed about 138 years old and said his secret was severe calorie restriction. Jimmy Kimmel

Day You Man Old Monday Other Secret Guessing Severe Indian Eat About Seemed Restriction Idea Thursday Days Like Documentary Pig Said Calorie Got Calories Surprise His Years Five Than Fewer Then Body Who Keep

Sometimes I'll feel like an interview was fine or whatever, and people go, 'Oh, boy, I saw you with so and so last night; that must have been tough.' And then I'm like, 'I guess it was bad. I need to look back at that.' Jimmy Kimmel

You People Sometimes Tough Whatever Interview Guess Back Saw Bad Must Fine Feel Like Look Boy Go Been Oh Then Last Night Last Night Need

I describe myself as a human being. Jimmy Kimmel

Myself Human Being Human Being Describe

There is no way, if I was running ABC, I would have kept me on the air. Jimmy Kimmel

Me Air Way ABC Would Running Kept

I know people who have literally quit their jobs to spend more time with their children, and I go, 'Wow,' my dad used to go to work at 7 o'clock in the morning and he'd come back at 7:30 and we'd kind of see him walk in and then he'd go upstairs and suddenly he'd be in a T-shirt and grumpy. There wasn't much in the way of conversation that went on. Jimmy Kimmel

Work Time Morning Conversation People Walk Back Spend Way Jobs Kind Wow See More He Come Know Him Go Quit Children Literally Upstairs Then Much Used Who Dad Suddenly Grumpy

Almost every week, someone's mad at me. Jimmy Kimmel

Me Every Mad Someone Week Almost

I only get unusual ailments. Jimmy Kimmel

Only Unusual Get

My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians. Jimmy Kimmel

Uncle Civilians Clearly Aunt

I can't be as flip as I once was. Jimmy Kimmel

Once Flip

On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime. Jimmy Kimmel

Me Bothers Outside Studio Daytime Always Go Leno Letterman

No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do. Jimmy Kimmel

Hate People Losing Matter Jobs See Really Who

When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember until you're on the radio again, sometimes in your old radio station and sitting with the guys you used to work with and you go, 'Oh yeah, I can't say these things anymore. I'm handcuffed.' Jimmy Kimmel

Work You Sometimes Remember Old Say Station Able Guys Until Yeah Go Lot Than Sitting Oh Oh Yeah Anymore Again Really Your Used Farther Radio Radio Station Now Things

The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it. Jimmy Kimmel

I go to Costco every weekend. It's my favorite part of the week. Jimmy Kimmel

Every Favorite Favorite Part Costco Week Weekend Part Go

If you want to do a talk show on network television, you're probably going to wind up having a desk and a band, wearing a suit, and having a sidekick. Audiences want to feel comfortable. Jimmy Kimmel

I'm always looking to the next thing. There are always hurdles, whether it's the White House dinner or hosting charity events or that night's show: Until they're over, I worry, then I move right on to the next thing. It's hard for me to enjoy the moment. I'm just thinking about not failing. Jimmy Kimmel

Me Charity Events Dinner Hurdles Looking White White House Enjoy Thinking Worry About Hosting Failing Over Until House Always Move Just Whether Then Next Hard Next Thing Show Moment Right Thing Night

No matter what Sarah Palin and these geniuses she surrounds herself with try to tell you, climate change is not a liberal versus conservative thing, but the people who profit from ignoring it want you to believe it is. Jimmy Kimmel

You Change People Conservative Matter Try Believe Profit Liberal Herself Tell Geniuses She Climate Climate Change Versus Surrounds Want Ignoring Sarah Sarah Palin Who Thing Palin

Our politicians debate this, but our scientists don't. A huge majority of climate scientists say climate change is happening. They say we're causing it and we need to do something about it before it has a terrible effect on all of us. Jimmy Kimmel

I started doing a half-hour Sunday night talk show on college radio station KUNV. That excited me more than anything I'd ever done. I went through the Yellow Pages to find people who seemed interesting. I'd goof on these people, but they were so excited to be on the radio that they didn't even notice. Jimmy Kimmel

Me People Sunday College Station Sunday Night Find Seemed More More Than Anything Through Excited Goof Talk Talk Show Doing Were Yellow Than Done Anything Interesting Notice Pages Show Who Radio Radio Station Even Ever Started Night

The Republican National Convention is a great place to hear people talk about politics and values and all that sort of thing. But there's one thing brings me back year after year, and that's white people dancing. The RNC is the world's premier Caucasian amateur dance festival. Jimmy Kimmel

Politics Great Me People World Dance Values Year National White Back Dancing One Thing About Great Place Talk Sort Caucasian Amateur Hear Hear People Festival Convention After Place Republican Premier Thing Brings

Jimmy Kimmel Quotes

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