40 Charlie Brooker Quotes for You to Enjoy

Charlie Brooker

English Critic

Born: Mar 3, 1971

About Like Me People Think You

Related authors: Aleister Crowley Charles Lamb Clive Bell John Churton Collins Pamela Hansford Johnson Terry Eagleton Walter Pater William Hazlitt

We don't sit down and look at the news pages and think, 'How could we do an episode about that?' Charlie Brooker

News Sit Down Think About Could Look How Episode Pages

Humans will always babble. If someone wants to tweet that they can't decide whether to wear blue socks or brown socks, then fair enough. But when sharing becomes automated, I get the heebie-jeebies. Charlie Brooker

I didn't pass my degree due to never handing in an acceptable dissertation, and while it didn't harm me in the long run, my failure to complete the course properly probably led me to spend the next six years or so coasting, unsure of what to do next. Charlie Brooker

It must be awful, being a homophobe. Charlie Brooker

Must Being Awful

The entire economy relies on the suspension of disbelief. So does a fairy story or an animated cartoon. This means that no matter how soberly the financial experts dress, no matter how dry their language, the economy they worship can only ever be as plausible as an episode of 'SpongeBob SquarePants.' Charlie Brooker

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat waiters and shop assistants, especially when you are one. Charlie Brooker

You Treat Way Tell About Waiters Lot Person Shop Assistants

The majority of people are perfectly capable of interacting with retail staff without spitting on them or whipping their hides like dawdling cattle, but Planet Earth still harbours more than its fair share of disappointments. Charlie Brooker

People Earth Hides More Spitting Retail Share Perfectly Disappointments Fair Like Fair Share Majority Without Cattle Still Than Staff Interacting Them Capable Whipping Planet Planet Earth

What I disliked most about working as a shop assistant wasn't the occasional snooty customer or the shop or the hours, but the way people reacted when I told them I was a shop assistant - their automatic assumption that I didn't enjoy it. Charlie Brooker

People Enjoy Assumption Way About Hours Most Occasional Shop Automatic Customer Them Disliked Working Assistant

Ever since about 1998, when humankind began fast-forwarding through the gradually-unfolding history of progress, like someone impatiently zipping through a YouTube clip in search of the best bits, we've grown accustomed to machines veering from essential to obsolete in the blink of a trimester. Charlie Brooker

I can't imagine painting my face in a team colour and roaring with delight as a multi-millionaire kicks a ball at a net. Charlie Brooker

Face Painting Kicks Net Delight Colour Roaring Ball Team Imagine

I can't imagine voluntarily standing beside an F1 track in the rain, watching motorised wedges plastered in corporate decals zooming past at 500mph. Charlie Brooker

Rain Past Corporate Beside Voluntarily Track Standing Watching Imagine

Rather than setting yourself a New Year's resolution, why not simply pick a reason for hating yourself for the next 365 days? Takes less time, and it's easier to stick to. Charlie Brooker

Charlie Brooker Quotes

No more Charlie Brooker quotes