Quotes by Comedians

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror, which continued for another four or five years. There still is, a little bit. Bob Newhart
Time First Bit Abject Another First Time Terror Audience Got Still Continue Years Up Five Front Which Little Little Bit Four
Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He wasn't afraid of silence. He would take as long as it took to tell the story. Bob Newhart
Work Silence Long Seen Doubt Took Benny Tell Would Take He Comedian Without Jack Jack Benny Bravest Afraid Story Ever
I'm very open to the up-and-comers. Bob Newhart
Open Very
I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you learn how to do it. Bob Newhart
Work You Every Saw Way Only Comedian Learn How Influenced Ever
I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable. Bob Newhart
Today Confusion Humor Think Kind Sacred Sacred Cows Between Know How Passing Cows Little Regrettable Gross Many
I love portraying the totally indifferent person. Bob Newhart
Love Totally Indifferent Person Portraying
There are some actresses that can't do comedy; it's too heavy-handed. Bob Newhart
Comedy Too Some Heavy-Handed Actress
I don't have a stack of scripts that, when I get home, studios are clamoring, saying, 'Has Bob read ours yet?' Bob Newhart
Saying Home Ours Studios Read Get Stack Scripts Bob
I have no intention of retiring; I can't imagine not doing stand-up. That's where I started and where I'll be. Bob Newhart
No Intention Retiring Doing Intention Where Started Imagine
Don Rickles and I are best friends. I know that might seem strange to those who know Don only by reputation, but somebody has to be his friend. Just to make sure I don't forget, Don gave me a doormat that sits just outside the front door of my house. It reads: 'The Newharts: The Rickleses Best Friends.' Bob Newhart
Best Me Strange Somebody Reputation Gave Those Seem Only Outside Know House Make Sure Reads His Friend Friends Forget Front Front Door Just Door Doormat Might Who
I have to warn you, I'm not just some sitcom guy. I'm now an author. Bob Newhart
You Some Guy Author Sitcom Just Warn Now
One time I happened to use the word 'denigrate' onstage, and it didn't get any reaction. So as I continued my act, the left side of my brain was fast-forwarding to see if I had any other big words coming up. Bob Newhart
Time Words Word Big Other Side One Time See Onstage Had Reaction Coming Continue Brain Denigrate Left Up Get Any Happened Act Use
I don't know how to do a show not in front of a live audience. Bob Newhart
Live Live Audience Know Audience How Front Show
I think the thing about it is when you grow up in Chicago there's such a thing as putting on airs, you know? And you just learn not to put on airs. Don't act like, 'Oh boy, I'm somebody.' They'll slap you down. Bob Newhart
You Somebody Down Think About Put Putting Like Know Learn Boy Chicago Up Oh Just Act Such A Thing Grow Grow Up Slap Thing
I don't think too much about age. Maybe if you're hurting, aching and arthritic, then you think about it a lot. But I don't. Bob Newhart
You Age Too Much Think Too Hurting About Lot Maybe Aching Then Much
There is an edginess in my work that people don't always recognize. Bob Newhart
Work People Recognize Always
Stand-up is different from television. In stand-up, you've got to be in control. Bob Newhart
You Control Television Got Different
A lot of money is spent trying to keep people alive who don't necessarily want to be alive. Bob Newhart
People Money Spent Alive Lot Trying Want Who Keep Necessarily
When I was off TV, people would ask me to please come back, which I think was their way of saying, 'There's nothing out there for us.' Bob Newhart
Saying Me People Nothing Think Back Please Way Out TV Would Come Off Which Ask Us
I just don't think most people put myself and Robert Frost in the same category. Bob Newhart
Myself People Think Put Category Most Robert Robert Frost Same Just Frost
I would say I came from upper middle class family. Bob Newhart
Family Class Say Would Class Family Came Upper Middle Middle Class
Dick Martin, if you put a gun to his forehead, he couldn't tell you a joke. Bob Newhart
You Gun Joke Tell Martin He Put Forehead His
I can't do a one-camera show. I don't know how to do that kind of show where you count in your head and then you do the next line. Bob Newhart
You Kind Count Head Know How Line Where Then Next Your Show
I loved 'Everybody Loves Raymond' because I like Ray and I thought it was beautifully cast, I thought it was great writing. I thought Patricia Heaton was wonderful. Bob Newhart
Great Writing Wonderful Thought Everybody Cast Ray Raymond Like Beautifully Because Loved Loves
When I first started out, 'Time' magazine did an article on what it called 'the sick comics,' and they were myself, Shelley Berman, Nichols & May, Jonathan Winters, Lenny Bruce, and Mort Sahl. We were considered 'sick.' Bob Newhart
Time Myself First Sick Considered Out Magazine Bruce Winters Jonathan Shelley Comics Were Article Did May Lenny Lenny Bruce Started
Humor is so important to the American scene throughout history. Bob Newhart
History Humor Important Scene Throughout American
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