9553 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

If I love a comic but they have an off night, who am I to say they should have taken out this or added that? It doesn't work that way... I have no interest in hurting people's feelings. Andy Kindler

Work Love People Feelings Added Way Say Out Hurting No Interest Taken Comic Am Off Interest Should Who Who Am I Night

I'm not trying to do anything except entertain America. Andy Kindler

Entertain Except America Trying Anything

My manager came up with the name 'State of the Industry,' and it was just one of those things. It just took off. Well, I don't know about 'took off.' I'm not in the stratosphere. Andy Kindler

State Took Those About Name Know Well Industry Came Off Up Manager Just Just One Stratosphere Things

I do notice a lot of people who want to shock to get laughs. It's such a tricky thing; you don't want to make rules about it. There's nobody more hilarious than Dave Attell, and he'd break every rule you set up. But he's funny. Andy Kindler

Funny You People Hilarious Every Rule Rules Laughs Tricky About More Dave He Nobody Make Lot Up Shock Than Get Want Break Notice Who Thing Set

If everything was good, maybe I wouldn't have a career. I wouldn't have anything to make fun of. Andy Kindler

Good Everything Make Maybe Anything Fun Career

Louie is hugely talented. But I get very annoyed at the way the media... say, 'Louis C.K. is the greatest stand-up in the world.' He's not the greatest stand-up in the world. He's not funnier than Dave Attell. Andy Kindler

World Way Say Dave He Talented Annoyed Greatest Very Louis Than Get Hugely Media Funnier

You tell me that 'Date Night' was good? I'm not going to see it. I will debate you on it, having no knowledge of the footage in the film. I was next to someone on the plane watching it, and they were dozing off. Andy Kindler

When I started out in the late '80s, my act was pretty terrible, and for years, I kind of toiled in obscurity. I don't believe in a hierarchy in comedy; I feel that a person deserves respect the first time they get onstage, and after that, they just have to be funny and get more consistent. Andy Kindler

Funny Time Respect Comedy First Believe Late Consistent Out Hierarchy Kind Pretty More Onstage Obscurity Feel Terrible First Time Years Person Get Just After Act Deserves Started

I don't know what Tracy Morgan does onstage, but I can assure you, it's no act. Andy Kindler

You Assure Morgan Onstage Know Tracy Does Act

I try to go out for everything. I go out for any acting stuff that comes up, and voice-over stuff. Andy Kindler

Try Everything Out Voice-Over Stuff Go Up Any Acting

Your face makes my soul want to eat chocolate pudding! Andy Milonakis

Soul Face Eat My Soul Makes Want Chocolate Your Pudding

I'm going to do a lot of weird stuff that's not going to be like me prancing around like an insane 12-year-old. I showed everybody that side of me and I think it's time to do different stuff, even when it comes down to the type of humor. I want to do some drier, weirder stuff. Andy Milonakis

I'm a really huge fan of papaya juice. Andy Milonakis

Juice Huge Huge Fan Fan Really

I want to put some effort into a bunch of different types of videos. I don't think I'm gonna do 'Man On The Street' messing with people, I don't think I'm gonna do over-the-top wacky comedy. Andy Milonakis

Man People Comedy Videos Think Types Some Put Over-The-Top Messing Wacky Bunch Effort Different Want Gonna Different Types Street

I don't want to rap about my car. How generic is that? Be creative. Andy Milonakis

Creative Car Rap About Generic How Want

I was a huge Internet junkie. Andy Milonakis

Internet Huge

MF Doom is like so out-of-the-box and just crazy. Andy Milonakis

Crazy Like Just Doom

There's not a lot of music videos that are totally, totally disturbing. Andy Milonakis

Music Videos Music Videos Disturbing Totally Lot

I was prom king. Which is actually saying I was the sixth most popular, because the five who were on homecoming were automatically disqualified from prom, so of course I have to look at it that way. Andy Richter

Saying King Way Prom Look Most Course Because Were Five Sixth Automatically Which Who Popular Homecoming Actually Disqualified

There are naked people in boots on a mountain top firing guns. Andy Richter

People Naked Top Boots Guns Firing Mountain Mountain Top

Quotes by Comedians