Quotes by Comedians

I could probably die happy with a cheeseboard and a glass of French red wine - that's my idea of a perfect dinner. Deirdre O'Kane
Happy Dinner Wine Perfect Could Glass Idea Red Red Wine French Die
Most people haven't seen my dramatic work, but I did 10 years of theater before I ever became a comic. I'm just better known for comedy. Deirdre O'Kane
Work People Better Comedy Seen Before Dramatic Dramatic Work Most Known Became Comic Years Did Just Theater Ever
I knew I couldn't do what Eddie Izzard does, so I just tried to write some stories that were based, or partly based, on my own experiences. Deirdre O'Kane
Own Tried Some My Own Write Knew Eddie Partly Does Were Just Experiences Stories Based
I don't like doing things by halves, and I realised you can't do stand-up comedy part-time. Deirdre O'Kane
You Comedy Part-Time Like Halves Doing Realised Stand-Up Comedy Things
There's a lot I've missed about living in Ireland. You miss family, particularly when you've got kids. Deirdre O'Kane
Family You Living Kids About Miss Missed Particularly Got Lot Ireland
I have no proper money to invest! Deirdre O'Kane
Money Proper Invest
I'm a shopper but not a big money/label-y shopper. It makes me a nervous wreck. Deirdre O'Kane
Me Nervous Big Wreck Makes
I can't function if I don't have tea. I don't know whether it's psychological or a real necessity, but I just need it. Deirdre O'Kane
Tea Know Real Just Psychological Whether Function Necessity Need
Okay, so, when I was a kid, definitely the drawings and the illustration. Then I stopped in sixth grade or so. And then I started again when I was in my twenties. I really didn't progress since then, so the way I draw is the way I drew in sixth grade. Demetri Martin
Progress Illustration Way Draw Kid Definitely Okay Drawings Drew Since Grade Sixth Stopped Again Then Really Twenties Started
I started being a comedy fan when I was, I'm going to guess, like 5 or 6 years old. Demetri Martin
Comedy Old Guess Like Years Going Being Fan Started
I like stand-up. But I'd also like a family and house and a yard. I want to work with a lot of people, have colleagues; and on good film sets, there's people there that work with the same people for years and years. I love that collaborative spirit in that medium. Comedy is a lot more solitary. Demetri Martin
Work Love Good Family People Comedy Sets Medium Collaborative Solitary Colleagues Spirit More Like House Also Yard Years Years And Years Lot Same Want Film Good Film Film Sets
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. Demetri Martin
Time Game Heart Worst Attack
When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults. Demetri Martin
You Only Friend Fat
And of course I didn't make any money from stand up for years, so I had temp jobs. That was the way I made money. Demetri Martin
Money Made Way Jobs Had Make Course Years Up Any Stand Stand Up
Let no man's deathbed be a futon. Demetri Martin
Man Deathbed
I think, at first blush, the '60s always enticed me. There's something about the '60s, it's not hard to like it. Demetri Martin
Me First Think About Something Like Always Blush Hard
I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone. Demetri Martin
Time Me Thought Made Girl Way Definitely Laugh Out Like Liked She Friend Done Often Then Found Her Zone
As a creative person, you want to have a foothold and sense of progress. Demetri Martin
You Creative Progress Sense Person Want Creative Person
A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy. Demetri Martin
Me People Garbage Plus Give Give Me Like Lot Handle Just Candy Hard Need
I saw a transvestite wearing a T-shirt that said 'Guess'. Demetri Martin
Guess Saw Wearing Said
I think it would be cool if you were writing a ransom note on your computer, if the paper clip popped up and said, 'Looks like you're writing a ransom note. Need help? You should use more forceful language, you'll get more money.' Demetri Martin
You Writing Money Language Think Paper Would Would-Be More Computer Like Looks Forceful Said Were Clip Up Get Note Should Use Your Help Cool Need
I love catching a snapshot of something that is just about to happen. Or maybe something that just happened, you know. But I like especially that just-before kind of feeling. Demetri Martin
Love You Feeling Kind About Something Catching Like Know Snapshot Maybe Just Happen Happened
Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline. Demetri Martin
Love Jokes Structured Ideas Short Specifically
The shortest feedback loop I can think of is doing improvisation in front of an audience. Demetri Martin
Feedback Think Loop Audience Doing Improvisation Front Shortest
But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Demetri Martin
Good Freedom People Good Thing Disappointing Disapproval Because Found Thing
To me, comedy is a game. Demetri Martin
Me Game Comedy
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