9553 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

There's just a feeling you get from certain things you do in life that just kind of feel pure and independent of what's actually, physically, going on. Craig Ferguson

Life You Pure Feeling Independent Kind Physically Feel Get Going Just Just Kind Certain Certain Things Actually Things

I love the Rio Grande Valley. I always say it's home - Texas is home. I've been out in L.A. a little over ten years, and I still get so excited when I go back home. It just feels comfortable; it makes me smile. Cristela Alonzo

Love Smile Home Me Back Valley Say Out Rio Ten Ten Years Excited Over Feels Comfortable Makes Always Still Go Been Years Texas Get Just Little

Looking back, I remember my family laughing a lot. We were never the kind of people that dwelled on hard times. My family laughs when things are tough. Growing up like that, I got used to making jokes about things that were difficult. So when I started doing stand-up, that's what I went towards. Cristela Alonzo

Family Jokes People Remember Tough Looking Looking Back Difficult Back Laughing Kind Laughs About Never Towards Like Got Making Doing Were Lot Up Times Used Hard Hard Times Growing Growing Up Things Started

As a kid, I really wanted to have my own show. But when you grow up in poverty, people tell you nothing is possible. So I kind of gave up on that dream. Cristela Alonzo

You People Poverty Own Nothing Gave Kid Possible Tell Kind Dream My Own Up Wanted Really Show Grow Grow Up

I grew up in a very Catholic household. We were pretty conservative. Cristela Alonzo

Conservative Pretty Household Catholic Were Up Very Grew

I couldn't afford therapy, so I just watched 'Frasier.' Season 4 was a breakthrough. Cristela Alonzo

Afford Just Breakthrough Therapy Season Watched

The chances of anyone of any race getting their own show are, like, .001 percent. Cristela Alonzo

Own Percent Like Any Getting Anyone Race Show Chances

My favorite movie is 'Die Hard.' It doesn't have pinatas and mariachis. It's just a good movie. Cristela Alonzo

Good Favorite Favorite Movie Good Movie Die Die Hard Just Movie Hard

There aren't any concrete steps to becoming a comic. Cristela Alonzo

Steps Becoming Comic Concrete Any

I love multi-cam. I grew up in a border town in South Texas right next to Mexico, a million miles away from this world... and to me, multi-cams are just like theater. Cristela Alonzo

Love Me World Border Town Like South Texas Mexico Up Just Grew Theater Next Miles Away Right Million

I love basketball. I love football. And to me, I think that's a dimension that you don't see with a lot of female leads, especially. I have a genuine love for it, and I always thought it was very interesting to show that side of me. Cristela Alonzo

Love Me You Thought Think Side Dimension See Football Leads Female Genuine Always Lot Very Interesting Show Basketball

We don't have enough Latinos on TV just getting cast in supporting roles; the idea of having your own show named after you seemed like such a long shot. Cristela Alonzo

All the family gatherings, I'm too tired, or I can't because it conflicts with work... I have seven grandkids. I've been missing recitals and graduations. To me, it's just not worth it. There is a better way to live life. Damon Wayans

Junior is such a great guy. He's the new and improved model. It's a beautiful thing. That's what you train your children to do. He's an inspiration to his brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews who say it's too hard living up to the family name. Damon Wayans

Beautiful Great Family You Living Too Say Great Guy Nephews Brothers Brothers And Sisters Guy Inspiration He New Name Beautiful Thing His Up Train Junior Model Sisters Improved Children Your Hard Who Thing Nieces