H. L. Mencken Quotes

H. L. Mencken
H. L. Mencken
American Writer
Born: Sep 12, 1880
Died: Jan 29, 1956
Believe Good Man Men Woman World
Related authors: Dale Carnegie Denis Waitley Dr. Seuss Elbert Hubbard Napoleon Hill Ray Bradbury W. E. B. Du Bois William Arthur Ward
Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another. H. L. Mencken
Love Woman Love Is Delusion Another Differs
The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence. H. L. Mencken
Months Evidence Penalty Laughing Would Never Courtroom Were Hear Jury Six Jail
Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven. H. L. Mencken
Democracy Dream Dream It Only Put Category Same Heaven Should Santa Santa Claus
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable. H. L. Mencken
Faith Defined Occurrence Improbable May Illogical Belief
The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. H. L. Mencken
Believe Follies Costly True Most Occupation Passionately Chief Mankind
A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance for the evil conscience of their parents. H. L. Mencken
School Evil Sunday Parents Prison Penance Sunday School Children Which Conscience
Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it. H. L. Mencken
Man Fool Before Assume Seldom He Safe Always After Speaks Necessary
Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. H. L. Mencken
Decency Overestimate Human Race Human Race
What men value in this world is not rights but privileges. H. L. Mencken
Rights World Value Men Privileges
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? H. L. Mencken
Funny Marriage Wonderful Live Would Institution Want Who
Temptation is a woman's weapon and man's excuse. H. L. Mencken
Man Woman Weapon Temptation Excuse
Man is always looking for someone to boast to; woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on. H. L. Mencken
Man Woman Looking Someone Put Head Always Boast Shoulder Her
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us that someone might be looking. H. L. Mencken
Looking Inner Voice Someone Voice Might Us Conscience Inner
The cynics are right nine times out of ten. H. L. Mencken
Nine Out Ten Times Cynics Right
It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf. H. L. Mencken
Good Impossible Beethoven Goethe Being Golf Billiards Imagine
No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as wise as the average woman of forty-eight. H. L. Mencken
Wise Man Woman Matter Long He Becomes How Average Ever Lives
Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean, and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates. H. L. Mencken
You Man Mind Ocean Way Backward Atlantic Atlantic Ocean Missing Crab Shore Crawling Search Ever Watched
I write in order to attain that feeling of tension relieved and function achieved which a cow enjoys on giving milk. H. L. Mencken
Giving Feeling Relieved Attain Write Tension Cow Achieved Order Which Function Milk
I confess I enjoy democracy immensely. It is incomparably idiotic, and hence incomparably amusing. H. L. Mencken
Democracy Enjoy Immensely Idiotic Confess Hence Amusing
It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise, just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine it run by a board of gods. H. L. Mencken
God Wise Impossible Imagination Universe Omnipotent Run Easy Gods Quite Just Board Imagine
The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God's children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil. H. L. Mencken
God Failure Man Long Devil Seems He Taken Soon Over Children Succeeds Theory
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. H. L. Mencken
Animal Other Bore Seems Vastly Another Greater Than Any Human Human Beings Capacity Beings
A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman. H. L. Mencken
Time Good Man Woman Every Every Time Bad Bad Man He Sort Speaks Who
As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. H. L. Mencken
Heart Hard Grow Grows Soft
Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest. H. L. Mencken
Marriage Husband And Wife Wife Husband Giving Evidence Begin Discuss Whenever
We must be willing to pay a price for freedom. H. L. Mencken
Freedom Pay Willing Must Price
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