56 Deborah Tannen Quotes for You to Enjoy

Deborah Tannen

American Sociologist

Born: Jun 7, 1945

Conversation First Men People Women You

Related authors: C. Wright Mills Charles Horton Cooley Ivan Illich Matthew Desmond Samuel P. Huntington Talcott Parsons Thomas E. Mann William Julius Wilson

When Clinton first appeared on the national stage back in 1992, the young wife of the Arkansas governor running for president, she kept her natural-brown hair off her face with a headband. Deborah Tannen

Wife Face Hair First National Young Stage President Back Running Arkansas She Clinton Off Governor Appeared Her Kept

When did the word 'compromise' get compromised? When did the negative connotations of 'He was caught in a compromising position' or 'She compromised her ethics' replace the positive connotations of 'They reached a compromise'? Deborah Tannen

Positive Word Ethics Negative Compromise Compromised Compromising He Reached She Caught Replace Get Did Connotations Her Position

The death of compromise has become a threat to our nation as we confront crucial issues such as the debt ceiling and that most basic of legislative responsibilities: a federal budget. At stake is the very meaning of what had once seemed unshakable: 'the full faith and credit' of the U.S. government. Deborah Tannen

Death Faith Government Become Nation Our Once Responsibilities Threat Seemed Compromise Federal Crucial Had Unshakable Budget Most Issues Ceiling Debt Debt Ceiling Very Legislative Stake Confront Meaning Meaning Of Full Credit Basic

Back when the powerful 19th-century senator Henry Clay was called 'the great compromiser,' achieving a compromise really was considered great. Deborah Tannen

Great Back Considered Compromise Clay Powerful Senator Achieving Really Henry

Conflict can't be avoided in our public lives any more than we can avoid conflict with people we love. One of the great strengths of our society is that we can express these conflicts openly. Deborah Tannen

Love Great Conflict People Society Our More Openly Than Any Conflicts Public Avoid Avoided Express Lives Strengths

It is easy to understand why conflict is so often highlighted: Writers of headlines or promotional copy want to catch attention and attract an audience. They are usually under time pressure, which lures them to established, conventionalized ways of expressing ideas in the absence of leisure to think up entirely new ones. Deborah Tannen

Time Conflict Pressure Think Ways Easy Entirely Absence Writers Catch Attention Headlines New Ideas Attract Understand Audience New Ones Up Often Established Want Leisure Which Them Expressing Why Copy

As a sociolinguist, I want to know how cultural differences affect the ways people talk and listen. My research method, inspired by the work of Robin Lakoff and John Gumperz of the University of California at Berkeley, is sociolinguistic microanalysis. I tape-record and transcribe naturally occurring conversations. Deborah Tannen

Work People Differences Research Ways Berkeley John Inspired Know Talk California Robin How Method Affect Cultural Listen Want Conversations Naturally University University Of California

Most non-New Yorkers, finding themselves within hearing range of strangers' conversation, think it's nice to pretend they didn't hear. But many New Yorkers think it's nice to toss in a relevant comment. Deborah Tannen

Conversation Strangers Nice Think Range Relevant Pretend Finding Toss New Most Within Hear Hearing Comment New Yorkers Themselves Many

Much of my work over the years has developed the premise that women's styles of friendship and conversation aren't inherently better than men's, simply different. Deborah Tannen

Work Friendship Conversation Women Better Men Developed Simply Over Styles Years Than Different Much Inherently Premise

Sisters, to me, are fascinating because it is a unique connection of the coming together of connection and competition. The fact that you have these age differences is a built-in power struggle, and the fact that you're all trying to get attention and resources from the same parents creates competition. Deborah Tannen

The Pavlovian view of women voters - 'plug the words in, and they will respond' - sends a chill down my spine because it sounds like an adaptation of something I have written about communication between the sexes: When a woman tells a man about a problem, she doesn't want him to fix it; she just wants him to listen and let her know he understands. Deborah Tannen

Man Woman Women Communication Problem Words Chill Will Down Respond Sexes Tells Plug Spine About Something He Written Between Like Voters Know She Him Because Understands Sounds Fix Sends Listen Just Want Wants View Her Adaptation

We all feel wistfulness or regret about roads not taken. Deborah Tannen

Regret About Taken Roads Feel

The word 'sister' evokes an ideal of connection and support, like the friendships that made Rebecca Wells's 'Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood' and Ann Brashares's 'The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants' into best-selling novels and successful films. Deborah Tannen

Word Made Sister Films Pants Secrets Divine Support Ideal Like Friendships Sisterhood Successful Connection Novels Traveling

My writing is about connecting ways of talking to human relationships. My purpose is to show that linguistics has something to offer in understanding and improving relationships. Deborah Tannen

Writing Understanding Relationships Ways About Something Purpose Talking Linguistics Offer Improving Human Show Connecting Human Relationships

The effect of dominance is not always the result of an intention to dominate. Deborah Tannen

Result Always Effect Dominance Dominate Intention

When daughters react with annoyance or even anger at the smallest, seemingly innocent remarks, mothers get the feeling that talking to their daughters can be like walking on eggshells: they have to watch every word. Deborah Tannen

Anger Word Innocent Feeling Every Seemingly Daughters Remarks Smallest Like Annoyance React Talking Mothers Walking Get Even Watch

The political Right is particularly vehement when it comes to compromise. Conservatives are now strongly swayed by the Tea Party movement, whose clarion call is a refusal to compromise regardless of the practical consequences. Deborah Tannen

In this world, conversations are negotiations for closeness in which people try to seek and give confirmation and support, and to reach consensus. They try to protect themselves from others' attempts to push them away. Deborah Tannen

My mother cared a lot about clothes. It was a point of friction because when I was a teenager, and I only wanted to wear my father's shirts, and I never wanted to wear makeup, she would say: 'Put on lipstick.' That was her thing. Deborah Tannen

For girls and women, talk is the glue that holds a relationship together - and the explosive that can blow it apart. That's why you can think you're having a perfectly amiable chat, then suddenly find yourself wounded by the shrapnel from an exploded conversation. Deborah Tannen

Relationship You Conversation Together Women Yourself Girl Think Find Wounded Having Chat Perfectly Talk Glue Blow Holds Apart Exploded Then Explosive Amiable Suddenly Why

All of us aspire to be powerful, and we all want to connect with others. Deborah Tannen

Others Powerful Want Us Aspire Connect

If you understand gender differences in what I call 'conversational style', you may not be able to prevent disagreements from arising, but you stand a better chance of preventing them from spiraling out of control. Deborah Tannen

For each other, at each other: Sisters can be either or both. The same could be said of people in any close relationship. Yet there is something special about sisters - specially gratifying and specially fraught. Deborah Tannen

Relationship People Other Fraught About Something Both Something Special Could Said Close Close Relationship Sisters Same Any Either Special Each Gratifying

Birth order is fascinating, and it is forever. Deborah Tannen

Birth Forever Order Fascinating

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