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Woody Allen Quotes
Woody Allen Quotes
Woody Allen
American
Director
Born:
Dec 1
,
1935
Death
Just
Life
Make
Wife
You
Related authors:
David Lynch
George Lucas
Martin Scorsese
Spike Lee
Stanley Kubrick
Steven Spielberg
Tim Burton
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Woody Allen
Life
Loneliness
Suffering
Too
Misery
Soon
Over
Much
Full
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen
Thankful
I Am
Laughter
Out
Except
Am
Nose
Milk
Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen
Success
Percent
Up
Eighty
Success Is
Showing
Showing Up
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Death
I Am
Am
Just
Afraid
Want
Happens
The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have.
Woody Allen
You
Happy
Appreciating
Instead
Talent
Liking
Being
Being Happy
Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
Woody Allen
Love
Good
Love Is
Experience
Sex
Damn
Pretty
Without
Go
As Far As
Experiences
Far
Meaningless
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
Woody Allen
Good
People
World
Better
Bad People
Enjoy
Slept
Bad
Good Ones
Seemed
More
Bad Ones
Divided
Hours
Waking
While
Much
Good And Bad
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
Woody Allen
Life
Art
Imitate
Imitates
Television
Bad
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
Woody Allen
Illusion
Nothing
Everything
Definitely
Carpet
Case
Overpaid
Exists
What If
You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody Allen
You
Live
Hundred
Give
Make
Up
Want
Things
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Woody Allen
Life
Death
You
Worse
Spent
Insurance
Salesman
Than
Evening
Ever
Things
If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.
Woody Allen
Failure
You
Every
Innovative
Sign
Failing
Doing
Very
Anything
Again
Now
Some guy hit my fender, and I told him, 'Be fruitful and multiply,' but not in those words.
Woody Allen
Words
Those
Some
Guy
Him
Fender
Hit
Fruitful
Multiply
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Woody Allen
Government
Believe
Out
Something
Unfortunately
Us
Watching
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Woody Allen
Decision
Wife
Boss
House
Maker
Just
I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen
Work
Death
Achieve
Immortality
Through
Want
Dying
It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen
Die
Just
Afraid
Want
Happens
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen
Education
Teacher
School
Disturbed
Had
Emotionally
Attended
Terrible
Teachers
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen
God
Me
Sign
Would
Some
Give
Give Me
Only
Clear
Name
Like
Making
Bank
Deposit
Large
Swiss
I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
Woody Allen
Me
Sold
Pocket
Proud
His
Deathbed
Very
Gold
Grandfather
Watch
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen
People
Universe
Enough
Way
Astounded
Find
Know
Around
Want
Chinatown
Your
Hard
Who
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
Woody Allen
Parents
Action
Kidnapped
Out
Snapped
Room
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.
Woody Allen
Bisexuality
Immediately
Date
Doubles
Your
Saturday
Saturday Night
Night
Chances
If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Woody Allen
Profit
Films
Something
Know
Doing
Movies
Show
Right
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Woody Allen
Man
Mind
Consists
More
Only
Parts
His
Body
Fun
Two
I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
Woody Allen
Would
Would-Be
Horse
Beating
Sadistic
Dead
Dead Horse
Call
Him
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