Absurd Quotes

I'm naturally funny, because my life is a joke. Unknown

Funny Joke Absurd Relatable

Love is spending your life with someone you want to kill but not doing it because you'd miss them. Unknown

Love Absurd Relatable

You don't look like 200 likes in a person. Unknown

Instagram Absurd Relatable

Nothing is impossible with the Eye of the Tiger tune in the background. Unknown

Funny Absurd Relatable

My favorite excercise at the gym is judging. Unknown

Gym Absurd Judging Relatable

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up, because I'm still looking for ideas. Unknown

Absurd Relatable

I'm not arguing, I'm explaining why I'm right. Unknown

Arguing Absurd Explaining Relatable

That urge you get to write "no one gives a shit" on someone's status. Unknown

Facebook Absurd Relatable

Brains are awesome. If only everyone had one. Unknown

Awesome Absurd Brains Relatable

Nothing is really lost until your mother can't find it. Unknown

Mother Lost Absurd Relatable

I'm more careful with video game currency than I'm with actual money. Unknown

Absurd Currency Video Game Relatable

A baby drinks a bottle and falls asleep, that's cute. I do it, and I'm an alcoholic. Unknown

Alcohol Baby Bottle Absurd Relatable

Technically if you don't cut a cake, it's still only one slice. Unknown

Funny Cake Absurd Relatable

That one password you use for everything and if anyone knew it they could destroy you. Unknown

Absurd Relatable

Bad choices make good stories. Unknown

Bad Choices Good Stories Absurd Relatable

Halfway through the year and I've literally accomplished nothing. Unknown

Absurd Accomplished Relatable

I don't think girls notice how handsome my mom says I am. Unknown

Mom Absurd Handsome Relatable

Sometimes I wish I could punch people right in their opinions. Unknown

Punch Absurd Opinions Relatable

Girl logic: I don't need attention but I want attention, but don't smother me with attention because that's annoying. Unknown

Girl Logic Attention Absurd Relatable

To the homeless guy shaking his costa cup at me, I get it, you have more money than me. Unknown

Absurd Relatable

Never get into an argument with someone who types faster than you. Unknown

Argument Absurd Relatable

I like romantic walks to the bar. Unknown

Absurd Bar Relatable

I have a six pack, it's just very shy. Unknown

Funny Absurd Relatable

Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown

Smile Absurd Relatable

Time is precious, waste it wisely. Unknown

Absurd Relatable

We kill people who kill people, because killing people is wrong. Unknown

Absurd Relatable

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