9553 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

The acting is better when you know your material is being judged. Bob Newhart

You Better Know Judged Material Being Being Judged Acting Your

There isn't a comedian in the world that hasn't bombed. Bob Newhart

World Comedian Bombed

I know Chuck Lorre personally, and am familiar with his work going back to 'Roseanne' and 'Cybil.' Bob Newhart

Work Back Chuck Know Am His Familiar Going Personally

These days with the web, you can burn out a character really quick. Bobby Moynihan

Character You Out Web Days Quick Burn Really

My first 'SNL' episode was with Michael Phelps and Lil Wayne. And if you go back and watch the monologue - it was supposed to feature Barack Obama, but we couldn't get him - it was with William Shatner. But if you watch it, Guy Fieri is sitting in the front row. Bobby Moynihan

You First Back Wayne William Obama Guy Feature Supposed Shatner Lil Wayne Him Go Michael SNL Get Sitting Front Barack Barack Obama Episode Row Watch Monologue

In my mind, not in real life. My rap name will be Optimus Rhymes. Or the Notorious B.o.B. Bobby Moynihan

Life Mind Will Real Life Rap Name Real Rhymes Notorious

It's not like you do 'SNL' and then get handed movie roles. You work, you audition for stuff and try to get it. I think, a lot of people, it's the goal to be in movies or just to be working in general. But yeah, some of us get lucky and get some movie roles, and it's nice. Bobby Moynihan

Work You People Try Nice Think Some General Stuff Like Yeah Audition Goal Lot Handed SNL Get Roles Just Movie Movie Roles Movies Then Us Working Lucky

My dad is quite possibly the biggest Giants fan in the world. I believe he wore a Phil Simms jersey to my high school and college graduations. Bobby Moynihan

World School College Believe Giants High Possibly High School High School And College He Quite Fan Biggest Wore Dad Jersey Phil

I'm very wary with impressions - I don't think I'm very good at impressions, I hate doing them. Bobby Moynihan

Good Hate Think Doing Impressions Very Them Wary

I come from an improv background, so the one thing I know when I'm doing 'Chozen' is that whatever he's doing at that exact moment is the only thing he's thinking about, and he will do it until he's conquered it. Bobby Moynihan

Will Whatever Thinking Background One Thing Exact About Only He Come Know Until Doing Improv The One Thing The Only Thing Moment Conquered Thing

As long as there's a strong theme that I can identify with, that's what makes me interested in writing. Bobcat Goldthwait

Me Writing Strong Long Identify Makes Interested Theme

I was in Ann Arbor, and I was told that this singer-songwriter guy wanted to meet me. It was Kurt Cobain. Nirvana had just made 'Bleach.' Kurt interviewed me on a college radio station. It was very strange. He was a fan of mine, and he gave me his album. Bobcat Goldthwait

Success is for creeps. Bobcat Goldthwait

Success Success Is Creeps

I'm always dealing with this sadness. I don't want to be Morrissey or anything, but it is a thing I deal with it. Every day, when I wake up, I have to make a decision to fight this depression. That sounds horrible but I'm fine with it; it's who I am; it's my life. I try not to let it cripple me. Bobcat Goldthwait

Life Depression Day Me Fight Every Day Sadness Wake Up Try Decision My Life Every Cripple Fine Horrible Make Deal Dealing Always Am Sounds Wake Up Want Anything Who Thing

Sometimes the wheels just fall off a relationship. Bobcat Goldthwait

Relationship Sometimes Fall Off Wheels Just

Quotes by Comedians