Quotes by Comedians

I watch old 'Truth or Consequences' on Hulu. 'Concentration.' And 'The Match Game' with Gene Rayburn. Billy Crystal

Truth Game Old Consequences Gene Concentration Match Hulu Watch

As far as the media goes, I'm driving in the left lane at 28 miles an hour. Billy Crystal

Driving Hour Left Goes As Far As Far Lane Miles Media

I've never looked at - with the exception of little snippets - very much of anything I've done in the last 15, 20 years. Billy Crystal

Exception Never Looked Years Very Done Anything Little Much Last

When you're 65, you're surprised by what turns you on. Billy Crystal

You Surprised Turns

My girls turned out great. Billy Crystal

Great Girl Out Turned

I think it's like a relay race. You run, and you hand over the baton, and your kids pick it up. They take the stuff they want, throw the rest away, and keep running. That's what life is about. Billy Crystal

I started writing in 1948 - basically. Billy Crystal

Writing Started Basically

I have performed my one-man show '700 Sundays' over 400 times now. There were only two times that I can honestly say I was nervous. The first was when I knew Mel Brooks was in the audience, and the second was when Sid Caesar came. Billy Crystal

Can you imagine if Babe Ruth had had Twitter? Billy Crystal

You Twitter Ruth Had Imagine Babe Babe Ruth

What passes for sports coverage is terribly sycophantic. Billy Crystal

Sports Terribly Passes Coverage

I'm smart enough to know I shouldn't be behind the wheel. Billy Eichner

Smart Enough Know Wheel Behind

I do take for granted, probably, the fact that I grew up in New York City, one of the most liberal places on earth, with bleeding-heart, liberal parents who took me to see 'Rent' and Terrence McNally plays from a very young age. Billy Eichner

Me Age Take For Granted Parents Young Liberal Took Earth City See Fact Take New Most Rent Up Very York New York New York City Young Age Grew Places Granted Who Plays

Everyone's life experience is different. Billy Eichner

Life Experience Everyone Life Experience Different

If I'm screaming at someone, it's because I think they're an idiot. Billy Eichner

Idiot Think Someone Because Screaming

If you're faking it, people will know, and it's going to turn a lot of people off. Billy Eichner

You People Will Know Faking Lot Off Going Turn

I was very much an only child who was raised by the television and movies, and I grew up in New York. We weren't, like, rich people, but we were middle-class people and my parents supported this love I had for entertainment. Billy Eichner

Love Entertainment People Parents Rich Television Only Only Child Had Supported New Like Were Up Very Child York New York Grew Movies Rich People Much Who Raised