9553 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

I threw my TV out years ago. Beppe Grillo

Out TV Threw Years Years Ago

I'm a comedian. You have to understand that my brain doesn't work like a politician's brain. Beppe Grillo

Work You Politician Like Comedian Understand Brain

This is what the establishment is scared of: Of joy, the sense of humour, of irony. Beppe Grillo

Joy Sense Humour Scared Irony Establishment

When you have a debt that's strangling you, you're not growing. Beppe Grillo

You Debt Strangling Growing

I started using my blog to get information about cities I was about to visit, asking followers what the main problems there were. Many mentioned misconduct of politicians and other things I wanted to talk about during my shows. Then, before a show in one city, local politicians called saying they would sue if I said something unpleasant. Beppe Grillo

Saying Problems Before Politicians Other Local Visit Cities Would City Unpleasant Followers About Something Misconduct Mentioned Main Talk Said Were Blog Get Wanted Information Then Asking Show Many Using Shows Sue Things Started

I'm so proud of being a populist! Beppe Grillo

Proud Being Populist

We need to stop the vicious cycle of debt that is strangling us. Beppe Grillo

Debt Stop Vicious Us Cycle Strangling Need

5SM is an ecumenical movement. Beppe Grillo

Movement

From the Americans, I took the meet-up platform, from Howard Dean. He used it to gather money. I use it to gather information, to gather forums, not money. This we copied from the United States, the use of the Internet. Beppe Grillo

Money Internet Took States He Dean Howard Dean American Information Use Used Forum Platform United United States Copied Gather

We became the first political movement in Italy, and the media didn't even realize it. Beppe Grillo

Political First Became Italy Political Movement Movement Realize Even Media

We've entrusted our lives to people who know nothing about life. Beppe Grillo

Life People Nothing Our Our Lives About Entrusted Know Who Lives

Israel is frightening. Its behaviour is irresponsible. Beppe Grillo

Israel Frightening Behaviour Irresponsible

People focus too much on whether there's a Democrat or a Republican in office. It's not like this guy Kim-Jong Un got into power the second Trump got into power. It's not like he wasn't a problem. It's not like we haven't had warmongers. It's not like corporations haven't been the main influence on what we're doing around the world. Bill Burr

People Problem World Too Much Focus Power Too Corporations UN Guy Main Had He Like Democrat Around Got Doing Been Trump Office Influence Whether Republican Much Second

You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it. Bill Burr

Being a stand-up comic, this isn't a stepping-stone for me; it's what I do, and this is what I'm always going to do. And even if I do a TV show, the only reasons to do a TV show is to get more people to know me to come out to my stand-up shows. Bill Burr

You probably need 1/10 of the world's population for us to continue to exist. There's just too many damn people. You have to somehow get us from 7 billion people to... I don't know what the magic number is, but I imagine at some point, that will happen. And I don't know about you, but I don't think I'm making the cut. Bill Burr

You People World Will Think Damn Too Some Magic About Somehow Point Know Making Continue Exist Get Just Happen Cut Us Billion Many Population Number Need Imagine

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live. Bill Burr

Experience Drive Live Everyone Out Just Place Should Fun Desert

You have to show up at 7 in the morning and be on like it's 9 at night. It's a skill. Some comics run from it, and they hate doing it, but the comics that are pros understand how important it is, and they get good at it. Bill Burr

Good Morning You Hate Important Run Some Pros Like Understand How Comics Doing Up Get Skill Show Night

They say you don't want to meet your heroes, but those two guys, you do want to meet them, because they do not disappoint. Walken has this amazing sense of humor, and Pacino is like just a sweetheart of a guy. Bill Burr

You have to understand how bad I wanted to be a comedian, how much I loved doing it. I still can't believe I get to do this for a living and have people come up and want to see me. Bill Burr

Quotes by Comedians