Quotes by Comedians

If one's honest about it, spending time in a car with children is pretty ghastly. Arabella Weir
Time Car Spending Spending Time Ghastly Pretty About Children Honest
When not eating, I like shopping; although I'm afraid I've become a bit of a cliche. Arabella Weir
Shopping Become Bit Eating Like Cliche Although Afraid
If I'm hunting down gifts, I like to buy locally. Arabella Weir
Buy Down Locally Gifts Hunting Like
As an actress and comedienne, I'm a huge fan of he theatre and the Tricycle in Kilburn is my favourite in London. I dragged my kids to a performance of 'Twelfth Night' there, where they handed out pizza. Who knew that all it takes to get children interested in Shakespeare is a snack? Arabella Weir
Theatre Kids Out Favourite London Shakespeare He Knew Takes Performance Snack Huge Handed Huge Fan Get Where Children Fan Pizza Interested Who Twelfth Actress Night Dragged
If you have any power at all from being popular, then you have a duty to help people out. Arabella Weir
You People Power Duty Out Any Being Then Help Help People Popular
I would like it to be a legal requirement for all businesses to be linked to a charity. Arabella Weir
Legal Charity Would Like Linked Requirement Businesses
Sticking to a diet required me to have a permanently low self-esteem. But happily, I developed other skills beyond a fluctuating weight, eventually building up a different source of self-worth. Arabella Weir
Me Building Other Developed Weight Beyond Self-Esteem Sticking Permanently Source Self-Worth Up Diet Different Happily Low Low Self-Esteem Required Skills Eventually
The real me now may not be thin but she's got the cake and, if she likes, can eat it too. Arabella Weir
Me Cake Too Eat Likes She Got Real May Now Thin
I don't possess a lot of self-confidence. I'm an actor so I simply act confident every time I hit the stage. Arsenio Hall
Time Stage Every Every Time Possess Simply Self-Confidence Lot Hit Confident Act Actor
I've never understood what the upside of marriage would be for me personally. Arsenio Hall
Me Marriage Would Would-Be Never Understood Upside Personally
My name is Arsenio. That's a very unique name for a black man. In Greek, it means Leroy. Arsenio Hall
Man Black Name Very Greek Means Unique
An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist. Arthur Smith
Glamorous Masterpiece Becomes Artist Canvas Uninspiring
After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo. Arthur Smith
You Memory Remember Phrase Atmosphere Vivid Only Retain Read Contents Odd Cameo After Novel Image Vague
Travel books are, by and large, boring. They lodge uncomfortably between fact, fiction and autobiography. Arthur Smith
Travel Books Lodge Boring Fact Between Autobiography Fiction Large
When I was eight or nine, I wrote a new version of 'Peter Pan' for the school play. They didn't use it - I imagine it was unperformable - but as recompense for not doing my script, I was offered any role, and instinctively went for Captain Hook. I came on trying to be terrifying, but everyone laughed at me. Arthur Smith
Me School Nine Everyone Hook Laughed Recompense Instinctively School Play New Wrote Terrifying Doing Came Version Offered Role Trying Any Eight Script Use Captain Peter Peter Pan Play Pan Imagine
Because comedy is cheap to put on: if you've got a play or an opera, there's a whole load of people and a set, but comedy is just one man or woman. And because TV has learned to love comics - there's so many more around now than when I started out. Arthur Smith
Love You Man Woman People Comedy Out TV One-Man More Cheap Put Opera Learned Because Around Got Comics Than Just Just One To Love Many Whole Now Play Started Load Set
The Romantic poets were the prototype ramblers, and I've often found myself following in their footsteps - although perhaps not all of their footsteps since a typical walk for Samuel T. Coleridge might last two days and cover 145km. Arthur Smith
Myself Walk Typical Following Poets Since Days Footsteps Perhaps Although Prototype Cover Were Often Romantic Samuel Might Found Last Two
I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube. Arthur Smith
Nothing Abhor Someone More Know Than Tube
The best way to prepare for a night out with a Shakespearean tragedy is to do a bit of reading up in the afternoon, eat a light supper - perhaps Welsh rarebit - and then arrive early to do some stretching exercises in the foyer before curtain-up. Arthur Smith
Best Light Reading Before Stretching Way Bit Out Best Way Eat Some Shakespearean Supper Perhaps Exercises Welsh Arrive Tragedy Up Afternoon Then Prepare Early Night
Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended. Arthur Smith
Home Experience Reading Shakespeare Never However Intended Fulfilling Play
Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross? Arthur Smith
Fashion Men About Bothered Jonathan Obviously Am Anyone Apart
The outfits come and go but there is a constant that I like about the catwalk model: the snotty expression. Arthur Smith
Constant Outfits About Come Like Come And Go Go Model Expression
It was Julie Burchill who decreed that, beyond a certain age, a man should not be seen in a leather jacket. Arthur Smith
Man Age Seen Beyond Leather Julie Jacket Certain Should Certain Age Who
The Bible has no doubt had much influence in its time, but it provides very few laughs. None, in fact. Arthur Smith
Time Bible Few Doubt Laughs No Doubt Fact Had None Provides Very Influence In Fact Much
Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners. Arthur Smith
Comedy Hilarious One-Liners Know Been Commandments Tragedy Quicker Than May Ages Originally Extent
A savage review is much more entertaining for the reader than an admiring one; the little misanthrope in each of us relishes the rubbishing of someone else. Arthur Smith
Savage Else Entertaining Admiring Someone More Reader Review Than Little Us Much Each
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