9553 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

I do believe I was put here to tell stories and be creative in that way. It's given my life so much purpose and meaning, and it's ultimately what I live for. Anna Akana

Life Creative My Life Live Believe Way Tell Given Purpose Put Ultimately Stories Meaning Much Here

The more you create, the more ambitious you become with your projects. Short films were a direct result of over 200 web series sketches and vlogs. After you create enough 2-minute videos, you start to wonder what else there is. Deadlines and discipline and quantity with a focus on quality have always been what keeps me going. Anna Akana

Me You Quality Result Discipline Videos Focus Become Films Enough Else Projects Web Direct More Over Deadlines Quantity Always Were Been Ambitious Wonder Going Short Short Films After Sketches Create Your Series Keeps Start

On Twitter, when someone would die, I would write a joke. Or if there's a tragedy, I would write a joke and tweet it. That was my thing, and then at a certain point, people started demanding it. Anthony Jeselnik

People Joke Demanding Twitter Would Someone Point Write Tragedy Die Then Certain Certain Point Tweet Thing Started

In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble. Anthony Jeselnik

I'm not just offensive, I'm very smart about the way that I do it, and that takes a lot of time. People say that young comics shouldn't be trying these things. That's ridiculous. You should try everything and see what sticks. Anthony Jeselnik

Time You People Smart Try Young Everything Way Say See People Say About Takes Sticks Comics Lot Time People Very Offensive Trying Just Should Ridiculous Things

We're trying to evolve a lot away from YouTube because YouTube is awesome - they have a huge audience, and we started there - but then you're at the mercy of their algorithms a lot, too. They can change anything, and it's really up to them, and you can't say anything about it. Anthony Padilla

We've seen other Internet people go to TV, and it's bad because they take two months off to make a pilot, and their viewers have forgotten about them when they come back. Anthony Padilla

Every brand has something on the Internet, whether it's video or doing something on social media. It's just another form that brands are starting to realize they have to be a part of. Anthony Padilla

Social Media Internet Every Something Part Another Doing Brand Brands Just Form Whether Social Video Realize Media Starting

I'm the co-chair of the PTA at my kids' school, Ashmount Primary, in north Islington, London. Arabella Weir

School Kids London Primary North

My parents both had Oxford degrees, they read important books, spoke foreign languages, drank real coffee and went to museums for pleasure. People like that don't have fat kids: they were cut out to be winners and winners don't have children who are overweight. Arabella Weir

People Coffee Parents Important Books Drank Pleasure Kids Out Degrees Both Winners Had Spoke Like Read Foreign Real Foreign Languages Were Overweight Oxford Children Cut Languages Who Fat Museums

I can't write about my greatest mistakes because I've slept with most of them. Arabella Weir

Mistakes Slept About Write Most Because Greatest Them

I have never done a package tour in my life. It appeals in a way, but then I remind myself that you can't control the other people with you, which could turn out to be ghastly. Arabella Weir

Look, I want what's good for everybody. I want to promote good state education for all. I want to raise standards for all kids, irrespective of race and class but why can't they all just do what I say when I know I'm right? Arabella Weir

Education Good Class Everybody State Say Kids Promote Know Look Just Irrespective Want Race Standards Why Right Raise

Statistically, if you have ever dieted you are extremely likely not only to regain any weight you lose, but to go on to gain even more. Dieting makes you fat. Arabella Weir

You Lose Extremely More Only Weight Likely Makes Go Any Diet Dieting Regain Gain Even Ever Fat

I don't understand boys - just ask my husband. Arabella Weir

Husband Understand Boy Just Ask

Quotes by Comedians