Quotes by Comedians

But my kids, my brothers' kids - they think about trying to top what we did. Damon Wayans
Think Top Kids Brothers About Trying Did
Am I a trance medium? No. Have I got a gift psychically? Absolutely not. But I believe in the survival of consciousness after death. Dan Aykroyd
Death Survival Gift Believe Medium Absolutely Absolutely Not Got Am Trance After Consciousness
I had a slight touch of Tourette's, which means you talk to yourself and bark and cry out at night. I find myself talking to myself sometimes. Dan Aykroyd
Myself You Yourself Sometimes Slight Out Find Touch Had Talk Cry Talking Which Means Bark Night
You look at the floor and see the floor. I look at the floor and see molecules. Dan Aykroyd
You See Look Molecules Floor
I've always been a big fan of science fiction and of the worlds of the spiritual and the mystic. Dan Aykroyd
Spiritual Science Big Worlds Mystic Science Fiction Always Been Big Fan Fiction Fan
I had a slight touch of Tourette's, which means you talk to yourself and bark and cry out at night. Dan Aykroyd
You Yourself Slight Out Touch Had Talk Cry Which Means Bark Night
I live in a high rise with my family part of the year in New York and I don't know three quarters of the people in the building. We live in the same square-footage and I wouldn't know who they were. Dan Aykroyd
Family People Three Building Year Live High Three-Quarters Rise Part New Know Quarters Were York Same New York Who
I'd make a bad preacher. Dan Aykroyd
Bad Make Preacher
I grew up on the edge of a national park in Canada - timberwolves, creeks, snow drifts. I really did have to walk home six miles through the snow, like your grandparents used to complain. Dan Aykroyd
Home Walk Edge National Complain Park Through Like Up Canada National Park Snow Did Six Grew Really Grandparents Your Miles Used
'Groundhog Day' was one of the greatest comedies ever made. Dan Aykroyd
Day Made Comedies Greatest Ever
I could live on challah bread, the Jewish kosher bread, quite happily. Dan Aykroyd
Live Could Kosher Quite Bread Happily Jewish
I love to come in and play with a wig or glasses or clothes. I love using props. I'm from the Peter Sellers school of trying to prepare for the character. Dan Aykroyd
Love Character School Glasses Clothes Wig Props Come Sellers Trying Using Peter Prepare Peter Sellers Play
There's huge, massive mother ships going up to the Yukon. They've been filmed and are on video. Dan Aykroyd
Mother Massive Been Huge Ships Up Going Video
Well, the common enemy in North America is the Western consumer. The consumer has driven oil up to $50 a barrel so we have to have these wars. I think it's incumbent upon us to. Dan Aykroyd
Enemy Think Incumbent Consumer Driven Well Western Up North North America America Common Oil Common Enemy Us Barrel Wars
I have this kind of mild nice-guy exterior, but inside my heart is like a steel trap. Dan Aykroyd
Heart Kind Inside Steel Like Mild Trap Exterior
Parodies of commercials are by no means new and have been popular going back to black-and-white TV shows of the '50s. Dan Aykroyd
Back TV TV Shows New Been Commercials Going Means Popular Shows
People love gentle larceny. Dan Aykroyd
Love People Gentle Larceny
I get offers all the time from film makers, but they are unknown quantities. I don't go there and do experiments. Dan Aykroyd
Time Unknown Quantities Makers Go Offers Get Experiments Film Film-Makers
Everyone fears the cut of the blade. It doesn't matter after that. I know the spirit survives as there is so much evidence of the survival of the personality in the afterlife. Dan Aykroyd
Survival Personality Matter Fears Everyone Evidence Spirit Blade Know Survives After Afterlife Cut Much
Folks have to pin me down because, for one thing, I don't have a laptop. I don't have an iPhone, and I refuse to carry them because they're immensely hackable. Dan Aykroyd
Me Down Immensely Carry One Thing Folks Because Pin iPhone Refuse Them Laptop Thing
I bought an island in 1987. It's in one of the lakes in Canada. I went around it in my boat and went to the real estate office and bought it. It's the best $65,000 I've ever spent. My family camp on it and we have great times there. Dan Aykroyd
Best Great Family Real Estate Spent Bought Around Island Real Camp Times Canada Office Estate Lakes Boat Ever
I am a spiritualist, a proud wearer of the spiritualist badge. Dan Aykroyd
Badge Proud Am
The Right-wingers everywhere take themselves too seriously, whether in the U.S. or the U.K. And, by the way, so does the Left. The Left can take itself a little too seriously as well. Dan Aykroyd
Seriously Too Way Everywhere Take Well Does Left Itself Whether Little Themselves
When I'm not acting, I'm writing, building an inventory of scripts. Even if they sit on the shelf, I just keep stacking them up. Dan Aykroyd
Writing Building Sit Inventory Shelf Up Just Scripts Them Acting Even Keep
After I won the Tony Award, the film floodgates opened, so I was like a kid in a candy store. Dan Fogler
Kid Opened Like Won Candy Candy Store Store After Award Film Tony
In 20 years I want to look back and see a collection of crazy characters that I made - a menagerie. Dan Fogler
Crazy Made Back Characters Collection See Look Years Want
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