P. J. O'Rourke Quotes

P. J. O'Rourke
P. J. O'Rourke
American Comedian
Born: Nov 14, 1947
About American Government People Politics You
The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable. P. J. O'Rourke
Failure People Old Long Worse Spent Only Consumer Had Head Study Goods Economy Hours Line Were Losers Lines End Soviet Getting Communist Who
The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. P. J. O'Rourke
Buy Family Phone Car Our Top Rigorous Inside Dropped Pole Been Crash Automobile Standards Strapped Whole Initiated
Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. P. J. O'Rourke
You Dust Memoir Promo Ten Ten Commandments Written Cover His Commandments Person Accuse Breaking
The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. P. J. O'Rourke
Time You Satire Brilliant Everything Out All-Time Proposal Jonathan Days Most Within Got How Coming Ireland Modest Straightened Notice Swift
America's grossly unfair tax system won't lead to class war. Or, if it does, the war will be brief. P. J. O'Rourke
War Class Will Unfair System Lead Does America Tax Tax System Brief
Americans are good at pursuing happiness. And the Americans who pursue happiness most diligently show that we're also good at running it down and killing it. P. J. O'Rourke
Happiness Good Down Diligently Running Pursue Pursuing Most Also American Show Who
The one thing that's terrible about traveling for fun is writing about it. P. J. O'Rourke
Writing One Thing About Terrible The One Thing Fun Traveling Thing
The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It's a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect. P. J. O'Rourke
Good Problem Water Country Enough Running Through Dry Effect Afghanistan Land Much Really Amount Ample
The best and brightest don't go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs. P. J. O'Rourke
Politics Best Go Goldman Sachs Brightest
Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization - an appeal to civilization itself. P. J. O'Rourke
Sometimes Organization Evil Response Civilization Powerful Effective Itself Social Social Organization Appeal Right
Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information. P. J. O'Rourke
Crazy People Old Our Entire Source Polling Information Old People
Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere. P. J. O'Rourke
You Sense Of Humor Humor Sense Kids Atmosphere Develop Exercise Makes Just Your
There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner. P. J. O'Rourke
Women Men One Thing Take Never Never Take Sooner Die Away Thing
Soccer matches should be something special, something people eagerly look forward to, something that brightens life. P. J. O'Rourke
Life People Something Something People Something Special Look Matches Soccer Should Special Forward Eagerly
My wife and I both come from Irish families. There are two kinds of Irish families: the hitting kind and the kidding kind. If you're fortunate - and both of us are - you come from the kidding kind of Irish family. P. J. O'Rourke
Family You Wife Kidding Kind Kinds Both Come Irish Families Hitting Us Fortunate Two
War expands government powers. The trouble is that, when the war goes away, the government powers do not. P. J. O'Rourke
War Government Trouble Powers Goes Away
Politicians will talk strategy and tactics and policies and programs until they're blue in the face, or you strangle them and they turn blue. P. J. O'Rourke
You Will Face Politicians Strategy Programs Tactics Talk Until Policies Blue Them Turn Strangle
Demolishing pretensions, especially worthy ones, is a hallmark of the baby boom. P. J. O'Rourke
Baby Boom Worthy Hallmark
The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people. P. J. O'Rourke
Sports People Bore Purpose Foreign Even
Satire doesn't effect change. P. J. O'Rourke
Satire Change Effect
I'm not a tech-savvy parent. I communicate with my children via the old-media format called yelling. P. J. O'Rourke
Communicate Parent Yelling Via Children Format
What is obnoxious about the motives of politicians - whatever those motives may be - is that politicians must announce their motives as visionary and grand. P. J. O'Rourke
Whatever Politicians Those Visionary Must About Obnoxious Announce Motives May Grand
You may be surprised to discover you're rich, especially if you're broke. P. J. O'Rourke
You Rich Broke Surprised Discover May
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes - the whole bag of tricks. P. J. O'Rourke
People World Black Churches Tricks Classical Schemes Bag Know Left Preachers Antithesis Rhetoric Who Whole English-Speaking Last
America gives every appearance of being a nation besotted with trashiness - divorce, illegitimacy, casual Fridays. P. J. O'Rourke
Nation Every Gives Casual Divorce America Being Appearance
You're never going to read 'The Wealth of Nations,' and you shouldn't, really. It's 900 pages. P. J. O'Rourke
You Wealth Never Read Going Nations Really Pages
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