9553 quotes by comedians for you to enjoy

Instead of letting anxiety run you, try voicing it. Voice it in your comedy. Voice it in a script. Just voice it, and it'll help you release it. Baron Vaughn

You Anxiety Comedy Try Release Run Voice Instead Just Script Your Help Letting

It seems that people are tired of everyone looking the same on television. And this seems especially true for white people. Even white people are tired of watching the same white people. That's why we've been importing them from Australia. Baron Vaughn

Tired People Looking White Everyone Television Seems True Been Australia Same Them Even Why Watching

Plenty of black people that I know have been on 'SNL,' and they haven't been utilized to the best of their abilities. Baron Vaughn

Best People Black Plenty Ability Know Been SNL

With storytelling, you have to see yourself as the hero in the movie of your own life, and I kind of see myself as a supporting role, a walk-on role that has five lines. I say, 'Mr. President, the Russians are here.' That's how I see myself. Baron Vaughn

In New Mexico, my local church did a nativity play, and I was cast as Wise Man #3. Of course, Wise Man #3 had no damn lines. Wise Man #1 had all the lines! I stood there thinking, 'I could do that role so much better!' From that moment on, I knew I wanted to be an actor. Baron Vaughn

Wise Man Wise Man Better Church Thinking Damn Local Cast Could Had Knew New Course New Mexico Lines Mexico Role Did Stood Wanted Nativity Much Moment Actor Play

I used to watch a lot of Nick at Nite as a kid, and it would play the original 'Saturday Night Live,' 'The Carol Burnett Show,' and 'Laugh-In.' Baron Vaughn

Live Carol Carol Burnett Kid Would Lot Burnett Used Show Original Nick Play Saturday Saturday Night Saturday Night Live Watch Night

I've always been a comedy nerd, and 'Partners in Crime' was probably more influential for me than anything else because it was not only standup, but Robert Townsend had those short films. Baron Vaughn

I wanted to go to theater school. Baron Vaughn

School Go Wanted Theater

I guarantee you that Leonardo Prince is doing nothing but listening to the 'Tron: Legacy' soundtrack on loop. And he's probably seen 'Tron: Legacy' twice, or three times. And the other two times, he's taken people who he thinks are important to him, and judged by their reaction to see if he should still be friends with them or not. Baron Vaughn

You People Listening Three Seen Important Nothing Other See He Taken Prince Reaction Him Judged Loop Still Doing Soundtrack Friends Legacy Times Them Leonardo Should Who Twice Thinks Two Guarantee

I was always just like, 'Standups are making it up.' A lot of people have that myth about standup. And so it wasn't until I was in college for theater school in Boston that I realized I can actually start going to open mics and figuring this out. Baron Vaughn

I've always been a big fan of entertainment. Having cable gave me access to HBO, Showtime, and The Movie Channel. Constantly taking in all these films from different eras and different styles has really given me a good vocabulary in how to talk about movies. Baron Vaughn

Good Me Entertainment Big Films Gave Channel Constantly About Vocabulary Given Having Cable Taking Talk Styles Access Always How Eras Been Big Fan Different Movie Fan Movies Really Different Styles Showtime

I don't mean to make a generalization, but I do at the same time, from what I know about people from the Midwest, it seems like their families would talk about money openly in front of them when they were kids. They'd say stuff like, 'We're broke! We're gonna lose the house!' Baron Vaughn

Time People Money Lose Say Broke Kids Would About Seems Generalization Stuff Like Openly Know Talk House Make Were Families Same Front Same Time Mean Midwest Them Gonna

I'm waiting for some studio to be like, 'Look, we need you to be totes buff.' 'I'm sorry, what'd you say?' 'Totes buff. We're gonna get you a trainer.' And I'm like, 'Oh, awesome! I've been waiting for this moment.' I would love to get in shape for a reason besides my own health and life. Baron Vaughn

Life Love Health You Waiting Sorry Own Awesome Say Besides Would Some My Own Shape Studio Like Look Buff Been Trainer Get Oh Gonna Reason Moment Need

When the audience reacts all together, it's genius. The audience is its own being in a way. It's a weird, amorphous beast that is also somehow a golden emperor that is also somehow every adult you've ever come across in your life who doesn't approve of you - all in one place. Baron Vaughn

Glamour comes from within. My beauty regime begins with my personality. Barry Humphries

Personality Beauty Glamour Within Begins Regime

I say things other people wish they could say. I don't pick on people - I empower them. Barry Humphries

People Wish Other Say Could Pick Empower Them Things

I suffer greatly from nerves. I have stage-fright badly, and it gets worse, but the stage is still my life. Barry Humphries

Life My Life Stage Worse Nerves Badly Still Greatly Gets Suffer

I feel like I've cheated. I never knew what to do. I was never a good enough painter to earn a living, and so I drifted into the theatre, and I've had a successful life. I feel guilty that I've never done a day's work in my life! Barry Humphries

I guess you could say I'm an addict - an adrenalin addict - I get great excitement and stimulation from doing stuff in public, even though I'm nervous and I have very bad stage fright. Barry Humphries

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