Quotes by Comedians

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard. David Letterman

Guard Changing Badly Name Democratic Doing Iraq Republican Elite

I used to have a theory actually that, if you've had a good childhood, a good marriage and a little bit of money in the bank, you're going to make a lousy comedian. David Steinberg

Good You Marriage Money Good Marriage Bit Had Comedian Make Lousy Going Bank Childhood Little Little Bit Used Theory Good Childhood Actually

I rewrote it and I took all your notes. Read it again, that kind of persistence paid off. David Steinberg

Persistence Took Kind Read Off Again Notes Paid Your

And it was a huge emotional thing to leave the law and become unemployed - to be a student again. David Steinberg

Law Become Emotional Student Emotional Thing Leave Huge Unemployed Again Thing

The interesting thing about improvisation is you're making something up in front of the audience. Now music helps you out a little bit because you have an instrument that'll separate you from the audience. David Steinberg

I starred in a Broadway play that was Sidney Poitier's first directing job and the cast was Lou Gossett, Cicely Tyson, Diana Ladd and I played a Jewish kid who offered himself as a slave to two Columbia University students as reparations. David Steinberg

When I started, you didn't make a lot of money by being a comedian. You didn't get a lot of respect. David Steinberg

You Respect Money Comedian Make Lot Get Being Started

I don't really dissect comedy. Nothing kills off humor more than overanalyzing it. David Steinberg

Comedy Humor Nothing More Off Than Really Dissect

Silences are the most underrated part of comedy. David Steinberg

Comedy Silences Part Most Underrated

My influences were Woody Allen and Lenny Bruce. David Steinberg

Bruce Allen Were Influences Woody Woody Allen Lenny Lenny Bruce

I've chosen to stay in a jolly place for most of my life, and that is a lot of who I am. Dawn French

Life My Life Stay Jolly Most Am Lot Place Who Chosen

We have to do a film parody for Comic Relief. We can't decide which film to parody at the moment. Any ideas welcome, but not Spiderman owing to costume being too tight. Dawn French

Welcome Too Spiderman Relief Costume Parody Ideas Tight Comic Comic Relief Owing Any Being Decide Which Moment Film

I want to do something where I play Judi Dench's younger sister or daughter. Dawn French

Daughter Sister Something Dench Where Want Younger Younger Sister Play

I haven't really ever had to audition for anything. Dawn French

Had Audition Anything Really Ever

I've often said the most difficult things I have to say to people through humour. I can very quickly put someone in their place with it. But we all walk away unscathed because there's been some funnies around it, and I'll usually make sure that it comes back at me. Dawn French

Me People Walk Difficult Back Humour Say Some Someone Through Put Most Make Sure Because Around Said Been Very Quickly Often Place Away Things Difficult Things

I've never disliked myself, and my weight has had nothing to do with my self-esteem. Dawn French

Myself Nothing Never Had Weight Self-Esteem Disliked

Other than my memory being a bit woolly and my knees being a bit creaky, I don't really think there's anything I can't do. Dawn French

Memory Think Other Bit Knees Than Being Anything Really

Writing has become my great joy - I simply love it. Dawn French

Love Great Writing Joy Become Great Joy Simply