Jon Stewart Quotes

Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart
American Entertainer
Born: Nov 28, 1962
About Because Just Will Work You
Related authors: Bernard Meltzer Earl Nightingale John Madden Jonathan Van Ness Khloe Kardashian Oprah Winfrey RuPaul Sammy Davis, Jr.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. Jon Stewart
Thanksgiving Enormous Took Everyone Way Neighborhood Feast Had Invited House Celebrated Them Land Then Old-Fashioned Old-Fashioned Way
If you don't stick to your values when they're being tested, they're not values: they're hobbies. Jon Stewart
You Values Stick Tested Hobbies Being Your
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. Yes, I want to look back and know that I was terrible at a variety of things. Jon Stewart
Work Hope Good You Good Work Back Everything Tried More Variety Leads Know Look Terrible Proud Yes Trying Just Want Keep Things Career
Why is it that if you take advantage of a corporate tax break you're a smart businessman, but if you take advantage of something so you don't go hungry, you're a moocher? Jon Stewart
You Smart Take Advantage Corporate Hungry Something Take Advantage Go Tax Tax Break Break Businessman Why
Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's a series of pendulum swings. Jon Stewart
Freedom Culture Battle Tyranny Our Pendulum Idea Between Checks Checks And Balances Balances Just Whole Series Swings
Insomnia is my greatest inspiration. Jon Stewart
Insomnia Inspiration Greatest
Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is. Jon Stewart
You Army Enemy Strong Our Soldiers Tell Border Exactly Name Know How South Camp Iraqi Coyote Just Where Your Many Actually
I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food. Jon Stewart
Food Shopping Strip Atlanta Liked Always Just Clubs
There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on 'Friends' is. Jon Stewart
Character People Favorite Impartial Web About Argue Hours Because Friends Jury Who Thing
The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him. Jon Stewart
You Man Legal Ride Events Ruled Carry Cart Some Martin Casey Guy Disabled Tour Between Know Supreme Him Supreme Court Court Around His Legal Right Going Golf Golf Cart Clubs Golfer Next Shots Next Thing Right Thing
If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news. Jon Stewart
News You Counter Like Then Your Watch Program
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for Howard Stern's Private Parts to come in No. 1. Jon Stewart
Best Man Vote Internet Will Seven Determined Over Come Stern Look Parts Private Years Private Parts Represent Achievements Last
If the events of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can attack us, but they can't take away what makes us American - our freedom, our liberty, our civil rights. No, only Attorney General John Ashcroft can do that. Jon Stewart
Freedom Rights Events Liberty September Our John Civil Civil Rights General Only Attack Take Attorney Attorney General Makes Terrorists Proven American Anything Us Away
McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done. Jon Stewart
Death Lawyer Penalty Frankly Could Him Got Death Penalty Done Quite Quite Frankly Which
Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Jon Stewart
Great You Fatherhood Ruin Someone Because Scratch
If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets. Jon Stewart
News You Satire People Rioting Minutes Give Also Got Going Them Streets
I don't care about wealth. What seems to be upsetting is institutionalizing the advantages that wealth gives you. Jon Stewart
You Wealth Care About Seems Gives Advantages dont Care Upsetting

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