25 Toilet Paper Quotes for You to Enjoy

You can almost judge how screwed up somebody is by the kind of toilet paper they use. Go in any rich house and it's some weird coloured embossed stuff. Captain Beefheart

You Judge Somebody Rich Paper Kind Some Coloured Almost Weird Stuff House How Go Up Any Screwed Screwed-Up Use Toilet Toilet Paper

When you go to jail, there's so much simple stuff missing. You just want some good toilet paper or a real toothbrush, a real blanket and a real bed to lay in. Ja Rule

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. Rod Serling

Singing Difficult Every Dancing Paper Television Minutes About Both Documentary Probing Rabbits Produce Toilet Toilet Paper Twelve Interrupted

We live in such a celebrity-driven culture, but all those people have to go buy toilet paper, and all those people have products they use and their favorite sweet treats. They all have to write to-do lists, and they're all reading books - well, hopefully most people are doing those things. Abbi Jacobson

Buy Culture People Reading Sweet Live Books Paper Those Favorite Hopefully Write Most Well Reading Books Doing Go Lists Use Toilet Toilet Paper Products Things Treats

I really can't be bothered going to a barber. And shaving every morning, that's nightmarish. I spent my teenage years covered in tiny little bits of toilet paper. Alan Moore

Morning Every Teenage Teenage Years Paper Spent Bits Bothered Shaving Covered Years Going Tiny Little Barber Really Toilet Toilet Paper

My mom really let us do our own thing and play with different trends, and my sister was a little older, so she had all the beauty tricks. I would stuff things like rolled-up toilet paper into my hair to get volume, or do the reverse, and I'd lie on my back, and she'd use an actual iron to straighten it. Chrissy Teigen

Mom Lie Hair Beauty Sister Own Older Back Our Trends Paper Tricks Would Had Volume Stuff Like She Reverse Iron Get Different Little Straighten Us Really Use Toilet Toilet Paper Let Us Actual Play Thing Things

I never saw the light of day at Bouley. I remember I would bring home a roll of toilet paper a week because we got paid so little, if at all. Christina Tosi

Day Home Remember Light Saw Paper Would Week Never Because Got Roll Little Paid Toilet Toilet Paper Bring

If you can market smut and toilet paper, you can market movies. Dawn Steel

You Market Paper Movies Toilet Toilet Paper

If you look at the end of a roll of toilet paper, like the brown paper tube, I basically worked in a factory that made humongous ones like that - for concrete or anything you wanted to put in there. I was the guy who chopped those up into smaller pieces, put them in a box, throw it in a pallet, wrap it up, jump in a forklift and put it on a truck. Demetrious Johnson

You Made Paper Those Wrap Brown Guy Throw Factory Put Truck Smaller Like Look Pieces Box Concrete End Up Jump Roll Tube Wanted Anything Them Worked Toilet Toilet Paper Who Chopped Basically

In our skulls, we carry around 3 pounds of slimy, wet, greyish tissue, corrugated like crumpled toilet paper. You wouldn't think, to look at the unappetizing lump, that it was some of the most powerful stuff in the known universe. Eliezer Yudkowsky

There's a deep underlying unpredictability to life that is thrilling. In China, my wife would say you go out to buy toilet paper, and you come back, and something interesting or revealing or funny happened on the way. Evan Osnos

Life Funny Buy You Wife Back Way Paper Say Out Would Unpredictability Something Thrilling Come Underlying Revealing Go Happened China Interesting Toilet Toilet Paper Deep

The first beat that I ever made that I thought was actually worth a damn was called 'Toilet Paper Nostrils,' and I made it when I had a cold. I had the worst cold ever. And I had toilet-paper nostrils making music, but it was really reflective of how I felt. It was a really sad trumpet sound. Flying Lotus

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. George Lindsey

You Saw Paper Tell Poor Toilet Toilet Paper Hard

In captivity, one loses every way of acting over little details which satisfy the essentials of life. Everything has to be asked for: permission to go to the toilet, permission to ask a guard something, permission to talk to another hostage - to brush your teeth, use toilet paper, everything is a negotiation. Ingrid Betancourt

Life Every Guard Teeth Everything Way Paper Negotiation Details Something Brush Hostage Over Talk Another Permission Go Loses Essentials Which Little Ask Asked Acting Use Your Toilet Toilet Paper Captivity Satisfy

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me. Joel Madden

Me Paper Thrown Like Getting Toilet Toilet Paper

I have the largest collection of Hulk memorabilia in the world - everything from toilet paper, wallpaper, bicycles - all boxed up at my house in Northern California. I've had it for so long, I think it might be time to sell it. Lou Ferrigno

For some reason, the only Swedish I know how to say is, 'There is no toilet paper.' Morfydd Clark

Paper Say Some Only Know How Swedish Toilet Toilet Paper Reason

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. Paula Poundstone

If you're embarking around the world in a hot-air balloon, don't forget the toilet paper. Richard Branson

You World Paper Embarking Around Balloon Forget Toilet Toilet Paper

Hate American toilets with only toilet paper and no bidets. Shenaz Treasury

Hate Toilets Paper Only American Toilet Toilet Paper

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