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Garry Shandling Quotes
Garry Shandling Quotes
Garry Shandling
American
Comedian
Born:
Nov 29
,
1949
Died:
Mar 24
,
2016
First
Funny
Love
Me
Think
You
Related authors:
George Carlin
Groucho Marx
Milton Berle
Mitch Hedberg
Robin Williams
Rodney Dangerfield
Steven Wright
W. C. Fields
Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.
Garry Shandling
You
Finish Line
First
Nice
Finish
Guys
Know
Line
Where
Then
Nice Guys
There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored.
Garry Shandling
Good
Me
You
Bored
Talking
Snoring
Means
Good Chance
Chance
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
Garry Shandling
Me
Problem
Intimacy
Tell
Know
Friends
Really
I don't think I'm severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong personal beliefs. I think America is dancing on thin ice. But I think it's bigger even than a political issue. I wonder about the evolution of the human race and spirit and what our goals and reasons for living are.
Garry Shandling
Strong
Political
Goals
Care
Active
Living
Think
Our
Dancing
Evolution
Spirit
About
Issue
Wonder
Than
America
Personal
Politically
Human
Bigger
Ice
Race
Reasons
Human Race
Even
Beliefs
Thin
Deeply
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.
Garry Shandling
Love
Made
Once
Minutes
Hour
Clocks
Fifteen
Fifteen Minutes
Night
Set
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.
Garry Shandling
Love
Funny
Strength
Me
Improvise
Think
Interviewing
Mine
Someone
Hosting
Like
Spontaneity
Behind
Really
Desk
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't.
Garry Shandling
Funny
You
Late-Night
Guest
Way
Would
About
Johnny
No-One
Hosts
Know
Talks
None
Curious
Did
Asked
Much
Regular
Use
Reason
Shows
Each
Now
Why
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right.
Garry Shandling
Pretty
Something
Tenacious
Perfectionist
Terms
Am
Getting
Right
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.
Garry Shandling
Spiritual
Philosophy
Sundays
Eastern
Guy
Read
Lot
Very
Play
Play Basketball
Basketball
Meditate
The art of boxing is seeing spaces and being able to take shots. The hitting and being hit have to become one. Your reactions have to be so in the moment. There's no time to think.
Garry Shandling
Art
Time
Become
Think
Able
Seeing
No Time
Take
Reactions
Boxing
Hit
Hitting
Being
Spaces
Shots
Your
Moment
Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.
Garry Shandling
Me
Hurt
Women
Before
Way
Out
Guy
Guys
Dating
Know
Go
Did
Going
Them
Started
Need
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I don't know that I would put the puppets on when I was pitching a show. This was the head of the studio putting a puppet show on. And I'll tell you, he wasn't bad.
Garry Shandling
Me
You
Tell
Bad
Puppet
Puppet Show
Would
Puppets
Never
Had
He
Studio
Put
Head
Putting
Stuff
Know
Lot
Done
Pitching
Anyone
Anything
Convince
Show
I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity.
Garry Shandling
Life
Time
Quality
Men
My Life
Everything
Feel
Most
Quantity
Than
My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.
Garry Shandling
First
Guest
First Appearance
Show
Appearance
Tonight
Tonight Show
I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer.
Garry Shandling
Sometimes
Car
Wish
Looking
Past
Through
Red
Longer
Lights
Come
Were
Keep
Start
Nobody can write better jokes putting me down than me.
Garry Shandling
Me
Jokes
Better
Down
Write
Putting
Nobody
Than
Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.
Garry Shandling
Funny
Time
First
Carol
Carol Burnett
Television
Particularly
She
First Time
Burnett
Larry
Swore
I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present.
Garry Shandling
Myself
Other
Know
Without
How
Ground
Actor
Present
I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.
Garry Shandling
Man
Judge
Mother
Father
Men
Sit
Own
Think
Way
Television
Out
TV
Something
My Own
Know
Him
May
Tuning
While
Used
Speaking
Who
Fascinated
Stare
Why
I think I look great in green, and I'm going to start wearing more green.
Garry Shandling
Great
Think
Wearing
More
Look
Green
Going
Start
I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.
Garry Shandling
Failure
Business
Fear
Negative
Think
Emotional
Main
Because
Stake
Fuels
Much
Ingredients
Show
Show Business
Large
I'm not a party guy. I don't carouse very much.
Garry Shandling
Party
Guy
Very
Much
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.
Garry Shandling
Me
Back
Way
Kind
Would
Would-Be
Entirely
Something
Only
Prevent
Host
Hosting
New
Talk
Talk Show
Go
Were
Wanting
Show
Which is, I'm an optimist that two people can be together to work out their conflicts. And that commitment, I think, might be what love is, because they both grow from their relationship.
Garry Shandling
Work
Love
Relationship
Together
Commitment
Love Is
People
Think
Out
Both
Dating
Because
Optimist
Conflicts
Which
Might
Work Out
Grow
Two
Two People
I may discuss love, and I don't mind if two men fall in love, fine. Two women, fine. But I flinch when I think of two Jewish women getting together and having a child because the idea of having two Jewish mothers makes my head explode. I have one; I couldn't handle two.
Garry Shandling
Love
Together
Women
Mind
Men
Fall
Think
Fine
Having
Head
Idea
Because
Makes
Mothers
Discuss
Handle
Child
Getting
May
Explode
Two
Jewish
When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity.
Garry Shandling
Time
Good
Creativity
Good Time
Because
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