24 Garrison Keillor Quotes for You to Enjoy

Garrison Keillor

American Writer

Born: Aug 7, 1942

Good Love Me People Time You

Related authors: Dale Carnegie Denis Waitley Dr. Seuss H. L. Mencken Napoleon Hill Ray Bradbury W. E. B. Du Bois William Arthur Ward

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted. Garrison Keillor

Parenting You Eyes Thanks Nothing Our Seem Seldom Never Hovering Offer Children Them Us Notice Ever Wasted

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then. Garrison Keillor

Life Love Thankful God Good You Rain Wake Up Three Thank You Enough Good Life Feel Hours Because Dear Go Fishing Wake Up Thank Forgive Then Us Now Chance

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming. Garrison Keillor

Roman Empire Down Luxuries Air Air Conditioning Brought Windows Empire Like Coming Were Hear Conditioning Roman Barbarians Shut

A girl in a bikini is like having a loaded pistol on your coffee table - There's nothing wrong with them, but it's hard to stop thinking about it. Garrison Keillor

Coffee Girl Nothing Thinking Table About Having Wrong Like Pistol Stop Them Bikini Your Hard Coffee Table Loaded

The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan. Garrison Keillor

You Father Face Daughter Nothing Says Runs Something Shakes Hostage He Puts Hot Sons Arm Over His Off Pat Frying Them Ask Shoulder Turns Ground Daddy Her Butter Need Pan

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison Keillor

Christmas Together About Compulsory Through Thunderstorm Like Go Lovely Thing

Cursing is highly effective in person - someone kicks his car in rage, forgetting he's wearing flip-flops, flames pour from his mouth, and it's impressive. But you see it in print, and it's just ugly. Garrison Keillor

I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends. Garrison Keillor

Wind Beginning Enough Circles Talk Until Call Sort Around Verbs Subjects End Get Ends Far Away

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it. Garrison Keillor

Reality Looking Believe Eye Denying Straight

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. Garrison Keillor

Good Joy Enough Never Forever Lousy Newspaper Nearly

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve. Garrison Keillor

Time Town Improve Decades Forgot Cannot Lake Little Little Town

I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme. Garrison Keillor

Good You Come Go Hear Off Up Rhyme Little

I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph. Garrison Keillor

Love About Triumph Poem Small Write Bought Feel New Sort York Just New York Lady Rhyme Rhymes Who Her

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it. Garrison Keillor

You Reality Sometimes Eye Look Deny

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy. Garrison Keillor

Woman Age Three Busy Think Schedule Looked Children

I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver. Garrison Keillor

Work Me Ignorance Own Other Unlikely Though Outcome Seemed My Own Writer Writers Driver Since Talent Well-Read Boy Am Real Discouragement Persevered Than Wanted Bus Bus Driver Average Less Found Eventually Keeps Row

I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time. Garrison Keillor

Time Morning You Matter Will Air Carry About Adrenaline Through Write Pick Toward Deadline Learn Go Friday Up Five Get Lake Central Theater Cook Show Radio Saturday Monologue

I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me. Garrison Keillor

Zoroastrians believe in one Great Almighty Spirit of Good who is in combat against evil forces, and Goodness prevails in the end. There is no self-flagellation or staring at the sun or snake-handling. Garrison Keillor

Good Great Evil Goodness Believe Sun Spirit Prevails Almighty Combat Forces End In The End Against Who Staring

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