Tom Lehrer Quotes

Tom Lehrer
Tom Lehrer
American Musician
Born: Apr 9, 1928
He Me People Words Writing You
Related authors: Bob Dylan Dolly Parton Frank Sinatra Juice Wrld Kanye West Lil Peep Nipsey Hussle YoungBoy Never Broke Again
When I was in college, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl. Now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl.' Tom Lehrer
You Words College Girl Say Were Front Them Certain Now
I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity. Tom Lehrer
Maturity Bypass Adolescence Trying Senility
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Tom Lehrer
Love Man Hate People Like Know Fellow Fellow Man Who
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. Tom Lehrer
Age Thought Had He Dead Been Years Sobering Mozart Two
In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.' Tom Lehrer
You Youth Words Girl Say Were Front Now
On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. Tom Lehrer
You Three Mark Says About Put Check Blind Box Tax Wanted Inches Income Income Tax Away
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and not about the important things, like the fact that he wouldn't ban landmines. Tom Lehrer
Jokes People Important Important Things Think About Touch Fact He Stuff Like Most Real Issues Clinton Real Issues Ban Monica Things Monica Lewinsky Lewinsky
One of the things I'm proudest of is, on my record 'That Was the Year that Was' in 1965, I made a joke about spending $20 billion sending some clown to the moon. I was against the manned space program then, and I'm even more against it now, that whole waste of money. Tom Lehrer
Money Space Moon Made Joke Year Clown Spending One Of The Things Record Some About More Proudest Sending Space Program Against To The Moon Manned Then Billion Whole Even Now Waste Things Program
Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize. Tom Lehrer
Satire Peace Political Kissinger Nobel Nobel Peace Prize Obsolete Became Prize Awarded Henry
I always prided myself on at least trying to be literate and use the right words, and if the audience didn't get it, then they could go home and look it up. Tom Lehrer
Myself Home Words Right Words Could Look Audience Always Least Go Go Home Up Get Trying Literate Then Use Right
When you're in a public profession like I was, and you stop doing it like I did, people think you're either crazy or dead. Tom Lehrer
Crazy You People Think Like Dead Doing Did Stop Either Public Profession
I thought about majoring in Math, Chemistry and English, but Math had the fewest requirements, so I went with it. I knew I wanted to teach, and Math was my field, so I studied Math. Tom Lehrer
Thought Chemistry Field About Had Studied Knew Math Fewest Wanted Requirements Teach English
I stopped performing because I don't have the temperament of a performer. You have to want to do the same thing over and over again. Once I got it right, I didn't want to do it again. I always use the analogy of a novelist who has to read his novel in public night after night. I just didn't want to do it. Tom Lehrer
You Same Thing Analogy Once Temperament Over Performer Performing Read Because Always Got His Same Just Stopped Want After Again Public Use Who Novel Novelist Right Thing Night
San Francisco is a city of twenty-something millionaire white kids named Doug. Tom Lehrer
Millionaire White Francisco Kids City Named San San Francisco
I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up. Tom Lehrer
People Trouble Wish Would Up Just Communicating Who Shut Shut Up
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you. Tom Lehrer
Good You Good Deeds Be Careful Be Prepared No-One Your Deeds Prepared Watching Careful
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. Tom Lehrer
Song Problem Out Would About Tempted Write Sort George George Bush His George W George W. Bush Want Them Bush Figure
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun. Tom Lehrer
Friendship People Money Free Out Exception Performance For The People Involved Also Because Friends Just Public Little Fun Things Last Two
I have always found it interesting... that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery. Tom Lehrer
People Always Form Regard Interesting Flattery Who Found Copyright
When you get to fifty-two food becomes more important than sex. Tom Lehrer
Food You Sex Important More Becomes Than Get
An actress must never lose her ego - without it she has no talent. Tom Lehrer
Ego Lose Must No Talent Never Talent She Without Actress Her
The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability. Tom Lehrer
Army Logical Prohibit Carried Ability Only Color Ideal Also Conclusion Discrimination American Race Grounds Creed
Laughter is involuntary. If it's funny you laugh. Tom Lehrer
Funny You Humor Laughter Laugh Involuntary
I didn't feel the need for anonymous affection, for people in the dark applauding. To me, it would be like writing a novel and then getting up every night and reading your novel. Tom Lehrer
Me People Writing Dark Reading Affection Every Would Would-Be Feel Like Anonymous Up Getting Then Your Novel Every Night Night Need
I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit. Every now and then I wrote something, and every now and then I didn't. The second just outnumbered the first. Tom Lehrer
Writing Job First Every Exactly Something Outnumbered Songs Wrote Years Quit Just Then Figure Full-Time Full-Time Job Now Now And Then Second
I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand. Tom Lehrer
Obnoxious Jon Jon Stewart He Like Really Stand Whom Miller
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