Rodney Dangerfield Quotes

Rodney Dangerfield

Rodney Dangerfield

American Comedian

Born: Nov 22, 1921

Died: Oct 5, 2004

Day He Me Met Pet Wife

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Steven Wright W. C. Fields

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. Rodney Dangerfield

Funny Wife Spoken Years Want Her Interrupt

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. Rodney Dangerfield

Me Met Everyone Hates He Said Psychiatrist Being Ridiculous

I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. Rodney Dangerfield

Me Parents Bath Tell Hated Could Toys Were Toaster Radio

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. Rodney Dangerfield

Truth Me Wife Seeing She Psychiatrist Then Bartender Her Two

My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light. Rodney Dangerfield

Me Dark Light Wife Naked Saw She Afraid Then Now

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out. Rodney Dangerfield

Game Fight Other Broke Out Hockey Night

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. Rodney Dangerfield

Me Teeth Wear Brown He Tie Yellow Dentist Going

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home. Rodney Dangerfield

Day Home Me Girl Other Nobody Over Come Said

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

Parents Kid Always Lot Moved Them Found

I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going. Rodney Dangerfield

Drinking Taking Know Coming Juice Prune Going Viagra

When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. Rodney Dangerfield

Me Cat Covering Up Sandbox Played Kept

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. Rodney Dangerfield

Morning Me Laughing Guys Could Put Underwear Hear

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. Rodney Dangerfield

Life Food Age Sex My Life Mirror Table Kitchen Fact Kitchen Table Had Taken Put Over Just Where In Fact Place

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. Rodney Dangerfield

Family Pet Three Tree Looked Dogs Up Using Found

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bee and he told me about the butcher and my wife. Rodney Dangerfield

Me Wife Birds Kid About He Him Got Bee Butcher

My mother had morning sickness after I was born. Rodney Dangerfield

Morning Mother Sickness Born Morning Sickness Had After

No more Rodney Dangerfield quotes

Haven't find the right quote? Try quotes from authors related to Rodney Dangerfield.