40 Patton Oswalt Quotes for You to Enjoy

Patton Oswalt

American Comedian

Born: Jan 27, 1969

Always Great Long Me People You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, 'The good outnumber you, and we always will.' Patton Oswalt

Good You Ignorance Fear Will Hatred Think Intolerance Eye Outnumber Look Spot Always Just Violence

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 gold coins. Patton Oswalt

You Coins He Head Stick Hit Gold Midget Turns

I fantasize and idealize myself as Bugs Bunny, but I know deep down I'm Daffy Duck. Patton Oswalt

Myself Down Idealize Know Bugs Duck Bunny Fantasize Deep Deep Down

What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who's good-looking; if they open their mouths and they're an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly. Patton Oswalt

Beautiful You Youth Beauty Idiot Think Worship Someone Above Open Good-Looking Beyond Because Cease Very Quickly Mouths Just Want After While Then Appearances

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, 'Well, I've had it with humanity.' But I was wrong. Patton Oswalt

Humanity Remember Down Had Remember When Wrong Reaction Well

It's like our country is being run by a bunch of bad alcoholic dads right now. Patton Oswalt

Country Our Run Bad Like Bunch Being Dads Now Right

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you. Patton Oswalt

You Drink Much

I think right now is the best time for stand-up, ever. I sincerely do. Patton Oswalt

Time Best Think Best Time Sincerely Now Ever Right

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians. Patton Oswalt

Death Late Nineties Out Bad Dried Comedians Sort Lot Up Shook Just Eighties Pond Mean Really Early

We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago. Patton Oswalt

Humanity Evil Long Alive Ourselves Would Eaten Were Inherently Here

Based on my own experience, when you're going through adolescence you don't know how the world works. You can't set a story in the world you live in because you don't know what a utility bill is, or how to budget your paycheck. Patton Oswalt

I think the kind of person that gravitates toward New York is a person that's not so much focused on controlling exactly how they appear and how they exit. They're more fascinated with the process. Patton Oswalt

Controlling Think Focused Kind Exactly More Toward New How Exit Person York New York Process Much Fascinated Appear

You know, in Los Angeles, you're constantly in your car, you're sealed up, you're not walking around. Whereas in New York, after a while, all your stuff is kind of public, in one way or the other. I'm not saying either one of those is bad; they're both great for a very specific kind of comedian. And I'm glad that they both exist. Patton Oswalt

Saying Great You Car Other Way Those Kind Bad Constantly Angeles One-Way Both Glad Stuff New Comedian Know Around Los Los Angeles Exist Up Very Walking York New York Whereas After Either While Public Your Sealed Specific

Growing up, there are always those kids who are only happy when they are making someone else upset. That is unfortunately just how some people are. And their parents were fine. Some people are just born with bad wiring. Patton Oswalt

Happy People Some People Parents Else Those Kids Bad Fine Some Born Someone Only Wiring Always How Making Were Up Just Upset Unfortunately Who Growing Growing Up