Jeff Garlin Quotes

Jeff Garlin

Jeff Garlin

American Comedian

Born: Jun 5, 1962

Being Doing Funny Me Myself You

Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields

There's only one true superpower amongst human beings, and that is being funny. People treat you differently if you can make them laugh. Jeff Garlin

Funny You People Treat Funny People Laugh Only Superpower True Make Human Being Human Beings Being Funny Them Beings Amongst Differently

My kids have played soccer and baseball and basketball, and the parents who come to games are always saying and doing things that are just wildly inappropriate. Jeff Garlin

Saying Parents Wildly Kids Come Always Doing Just Soccer Inappropriate Games Who Baseball Things Played Basketball

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. Jeff Garlin

Me More Chess Than Hockey Comparable Baseball

Why do I want to be challenged or have challenges? That's why I don't go climb mountains. Jeff Garlin

Challenges Mountains Climb Go Want Challenged Why

I'm totally comfortable not being as funny as Larry David. Jeff Garlin

Funny Totally David Comfortable Being Larry

I like independent movies, documentaries. There's not a lot of movies that are commercially made that I dig. Jeff Garlin

Made Dig Independent Independent Movies Like Documentaries Lot Commercially Movies

I've avoided doing network shows because I don't think they're true to real families. Jeff Garlin

Think Network True Because Real Doing Families Avoided Shows

I like raconteurs; I like conversation. I liked the 'Tonight Show' when it was 90 minutes, I like when people aren't plugging things per se, and they're just in the moment being interesting. Jeff Garlin

Conversation People Plugging Minutes Per Like Liked Just Being Interesting Show Moment Things Tonight Tonight Show

As an individual doing a podcast, you don't get even remotely rich. It's not something to do for money. Jeff Garlin

You Money Rich Something Individual Remotely Doing Get Even

In my stand-up, I generally improvise from an outline. Jeff Garlin

Improvise Outline Generally

I'm from Chicago and it's a huge influence on me. Jeff Garlin

Me Chicago Huge Huge Influence Influence

I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do what you do, and you're either funny or you're not. Jeff Garlin

Funny You Comedy Just Be Analyze Boring Never Stuff Because Makes Just Stop Being Either Being Funny Who

First off, I don't do self-deprecation comedy based on being fat. I would always talk about it honestly. Secondly, I don't care how much I weigh. Jeff Garlin

Comedy Care First Honestly Secondly Would About Weigh Talk Always How How Much Off Being Much Based Fat

When you see a bad romantic comedy, you see the script, the director, and the actors trying to create this warmth and this pathos and this feeling that you care about them. That cannot be manufactured - it's either there or it isn't. Jeff Garlin

You Director Comedy Care Feeling Bad See About Trying Pathos Romantic Romantic Comedy Cannot Either Script Them Warmth Create Actor

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