George Burns Quotes

George Burns
George Burns
American Comedian
Born: Jan 20, 1896
Died: Mar 9, 1996
Age Fake Good Made Me You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old. George Burns
You Getting Older Old Older Get Getting Help
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed. George Burns
You Money Unless Stay Make Bed
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair. George Burns
People Hair Country Busy Too Run Bad Driving Know How Cutting Who
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. George Burns
Me Remember Trouble Drunk Only Drink Takes Get Fourteenth
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age. George Burns
Funny You Age People Made Past Few Live Hundred Got Very Die Few People
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. George Burns
You First Down Finally Faces Names Up Forget Then Next Your Zipper Pull
You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there. George Burns
You Old Getting Old Down Else Could Know Tie Wonder Getting Stoop While Your
Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle. George Burns
Happiness Good You Woman Meal Good Meal Bad How How Much Handle Depends Much
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. George Burns
Funny Sick Only Dead Boy Sea
If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it. George Burns
Me You Key Stress Important Single Worry Say Would Tension Longevity Most Still Ask Avoiding
I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life. George Burns
Life Future Rest My Life Spend Look Because Going Where
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair. George Burns
People Hair Country Busy Too Run Bad Running Know How Cutting Who
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. George Burns
Good Together Ending Beginning Secret Possible Having Close The Secret Of Then Sermon Two
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. George Burns
Age Sex Pool Like Shoot Trying Rope
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. George Burns
Success Love Failure You Hate Better Think Honestly Something Than
The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made. George Burns
You Honesty Made Important Most Most Important Thing Got Fake Important Thing The Most Important Acting Thing
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. George Burns
Age Had Retirement Still Pimples Ridiculous
I'm very pleased to be here. Let's face it, at my age I'm very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns
Age Face Pleased Very Anywhere Here
I don't believe in dying. It's been done. I'm working on a new exit. Besides, I can't die now - I'm booked. George Burns
Believe Booked Besides New Been Exit Die Done Dying Working Now
How can I die? I'm booked. George Burns
Booked How Die
If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it. George Burns
Good Me Pay Enough Bad Good Script Script
I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money. George Burns
Money Too Much Lose Too Too Much Money Afford Die Much

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