David Letterman Quotes

David Letterman
David Letterman
American Comedian
Born: Apr 12, 1947
Does Face Good Make People You
Related authors: George Carlin Groucho Marx Milton Berle Mitch Hedberg Robin Williams Rodney Dangerfield Steven Wright W. C. Fields
There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing. David Letterman
Myself Good You Courage Behavior Pretending Believe Other Defines Only Know Courageous Because Real Any Done Human Just Real Thing Human Behavior Little Might Us Requirement Thing
If it wasn't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsover. David Letterman
Personality Coffee
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed. David Letterman
Time You Spring Fall Savings Back Out Daylight Like Robert Bed Forget Getting Then Forward
I have found that the only thing that does bring you happiness is doing something good for somebody who is incapable of doing it for themselves. David Letterman
Happiness Good You Somebody Something Only Something Good Does Doing The Only Thing Themselves Incapable Who Found Thing Bring
There's not a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't enjoy a tasty beverage. David Letterman
Man Woman Face Enjoy Earth Beverage Child Tasty Who
The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. David Letterman
Dog Confused Water Gorgeous Thought Weather Spring Changed Hot Hot Dog Feels Vendors Like Because Got Accidentally Eighties Mild Here
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees. David Letterman
Change Fall Trees Birds Favorite Angeles Color Los Los Angeles Season Watching
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population. David Letterman
Today People Three Every Out New Come Make Make Up Up Survey USA USA Today Apparently Population Four
People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine. David Letterman
People Strangers Other Took Complete Saw Say People Say Guy Cab Sharing True New Along Get New Yorkers Tires Engine Radio Two
Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water. David Letterman
Great People Water Everywhere Ours About Wherever Land Found Travelled
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan? David Letterman
Thanksgiving Me Feel Like Does Came Just Warm Really Now Early
I believe I have voted for both Democrats and Republicans. Am I either one? Absolutely not. Ladies and gentlemen, I am an American. David Letterman
Believe Both Absolutely Absolutely Not Voted Democrats Gentlemen Democrats And Republicans Am American Ladies Either Republicans
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode? David Letterman
God States Those Hussein About Pound Dropped Saddam Saddam Hussein Know Anything Explode Explosives Even United United States Bombs Things Four Last Night Last Night Need
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious. David Letterman
Collective Unconscious Make Trying Just
A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag. David Letterman
Time You Example Demanding Before Thinking Consider France Evidence Folks Threat More Paris Through For Example Know Still Iraq Lot German Flag Wanted Wants Actually Right Last Last Time
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move. David Letterman
Great You People World Cities Leads New Make Around York Move New York Sudden Whom Now Number
Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines. David Letterman
Guidelines Signals New Traffic York Just New York Rough
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. David Letterman
Future Gift Secrets Embassy Given He Also Clinton Very Chinese Inadvertently Sent Them Working Apology Hard Certificate Now Letter Bombed Nuclear
President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. David Letterman
War Become Hell Thinking President President Bush Approval UN He Voters Well Does Said Wage American Either Bush Need
The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral. David Letterman
Today Debate Big Own Alive He Saddam Dead His Just Then Videotape Confusing Speaking Now Right Funeral
President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger. David Letterman
President President Bush Has-Been Silent Pronounce He Schwarzenegger Course Been Bush
Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it? David Letterman
Health Good Day Good Health Me Man Doctor Sign Running Fine He Hours Said Always Got Yeah Cheney His Dick Cheney Again
Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton. David Letterman
Gay You Mind Yesterday Positions Changed Marriages Telling John John Kerry Guy More Paris Paris Hilton Supports Hilton His Ban Than Senator Now Kerry
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard. David Letterman
Guard Changing Badly Name Democratic Doing Iraq Republican Elite
As you know now, Rush Limbaugh is the new face of the Republican Party, but they'll probably go with a different body. David Letterman
You Face Party Rush Rush Limbaugh New Know Go Different Republican Republican Party Body Now

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